The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto - by Brene Brown
Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable.
You will learn this from my words and actions - the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.
I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.
You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy everytime you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.
We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.
We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.
You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and amends, by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.
I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.
I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.
When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.
Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.
We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.
As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.
I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you. Brene
Somehow being a parent seems to put us in a vise of having to be perfect, of never showing our errors to our children, of also believing if they do all things right, than we are doing it right.
When, I believe, that the more imperfectly you display yourself and the more vulnerable and real you are, the more permission you grant your children to embrace and love their whole self.
Whole self isn't about being perfect...it is about bring all of you forward. Not just the pretty spots or the ones that 'show' you in the best light, but displaying your wounds too.
And, we do all this by living our lives fully exposed.
I used to think that children needed a perfect parent model to follow, but now I believe what we need most is one who is transparent, vulnerable, open and without secrets.
Expecting perfect children is to raise children who will live in shame; hiding everything that is not perfect.
I want my children to feel that they are allowed to make mistakes, to try and fail and to try again, to feel the agony of pain and the profound sense of joy....
I do not want perfect children.
I want wholehearted children.
