"How can I go forward when I don't know which way I am facing." John Lennon
The women of the FALC and the OALC churches are women of strength. They will endure and suffer beyond your imaginations to uphold the core values of the church...their faith.
They are faith full women.
They will carve their families into patterns that will fit into the church and cut off those that won't.
They are women of strong constitution, only the constitution they uphold separates them from their Self...they are not a self, they are part of the church.
But what happens when their children fall through the cracks, while they are tending to the needs of the church? What happens when being a faithful member and being a mother are at odds?
Being a mother and doing what is right for the child first is not an option or a choice as far as these women are concerned.
I know, for my mother was/is a strong christian woman whose faith is of the utmost importance...when the chips are down, she will always save her soul before the lives of her children.
She will always do first what the church needs...before even considering another option. The church is her go to problem solving place...and will abide and follow its teachings, EVEN if it means "Blessing a pedophile"...and serving HIS needs before the victim. I know this too, for she stayed married to my pedophile father for 49 years, and was 'counseled' by her preacher.
He (preacher) knew and never sought the law, nor encouraged her to seek it as well. Nor do I recall a word mentioned about therapy for her or her children...
Abuse was handled in the ways of the church and she was a good christian and abided its ways...turning her back on motherly instincts....she instead lived her life with the church leading the way.
A follower of the First Apostolic Lutheran Church...
And, I know she isn't alone. The church pews are filled with women just like her, who will first consult the church before making a choice, and in fact the only choices available are from the church, there is no other outside option.
In looking at how this ideology affects abuse is that the child and victim is second or third in line when decision time comes along. Faith if first, man is second....and then child.
When the church believes in forgiving the man, the child is never seen. For you can't deal with the abuse of the child, if you blessed the man, for you are unable to address his sins upon the child, for those sins have been blessed and released. And I am fairly certain, that no church body has ever reported abuse to the laws of the land.
So criminal sins are not addressed. I know, that if a body died via a sin, then it would be pretty hard to just bless the sin and go on, for you have to do some thing with the dead body. But in the case of child abuse, the sins were upon a child.
And, a child's voice within the church and family structures is without a vote...
What the laws of the land are expecting is for the child to come forth and tell. To come forth and speak of a sin, that their mother blessed away, to stand against family and church for their own self...and to prosecute and speak against adults and members of the church...to shout to have a vote and a voice.
It isn't the strong women who need to turn in their faith in order for abuse to stop, but for the children who have never been able to make a decision about their lives, to go against church and family and make one, about abuse.
About being sexually abused.
To speak out about things the church doesn't speak about.
To reveal 'dirty' things about an 'upstanding' church member. To rip their mother's faith from them, to leave the communtiy and trust in the ones who they have been taught are evil.
How will these children find the strength to do this?
The laws of this land, are expecting children of abuse to come forth, and until this happens, we adults within the community and those within the churches can know and do nothing. Nothing. The child has to be the one leading the charge.
To charge that they were sexually abused...by a church member and they will not have the support of their mothers...just like me. For their mothers clutch more tightly their faith than the well being of their children.
And, the child knows this.
It is like the whole structure is completely turned on its head...where the child is not protected but left out in the cold. No one is there to stand up for the child.
I have felt that my life was just a residual affect of my mother not wanting to sin and take birth control, it wasn't that she wanted children, she didn't want to sin. So, my life was never precious, or at least not at the same value as her faith. And, my life experiences have proven this so.
Waiting for the church to begin valuing its children will be a long wait.
It will take a revolution of the children to tip this over.
Maybe one day the FALC and OALC will have their Penn State day, where the out pouring of victims will bleed their value to its rightful place...without morals or values.
