I hate using the word "Allegedly" in front of an abusers actions, for not only does it make his actions "questionable" or "suspect", but it more importantly discounts or lowers the truth of the child. Even IF we have tons of evidence by the way a child has been changed, we still have to say "allegedly" until the law of the land FINDS them Guilty. And, what I hate the most....IS that the child then wears the label guilty until the man's innocence is proven otherwise.
Allegedly then, the child is a liar, until the laws of the land have enough evidence to convict. And, there are still cases of abuse, where the child, due to his/her abuse is unable to articulate, remember, or is not brave enough to speak, and recount the evidence needed to press charges...it still doesn't mean the abuser IS innocent.
I am so incensed with the higher degree in which we (society) and church, lean towards protecting the innocent reputation of the adult and give so little attention to the child's lost innocence.
These cases are extremely hard to get into courts of the land, due to the fact that the child has to feel safe enough, and supported, to point a finger at someone they loved and trusted....and most often, whom their parents are in relationships with.
When will we put as much efforts into the defense of children as there now seems to be in the defense of the adults? When will the child's innocence be equally as protected?
What if instead we sought to hear the child? What if we instead believed that grown men in pulpits CAN be pedophiles...instead of doubting its possibility?
You may think that your child is safe or that they will come to you and TELL. They won't. Due to the simple fact in how you are now reacting and responding to their abuser.
What are you saying about this resigned preacher man? Are you even talking to your children about it? Your silence will not protect them...your silence about this man's abuse is showing your support of him. That is all the child hears....nothing.
As a grown adult woman, I felt immediately who had my father's hand so to speak and who had mine. I knew who would listen and who would defend. I can't but feel that the same is true for the little ones who have been abused. They know by how you act, what you say and where you go.
In my opinion, you can't expect them to show their wounds if you are silently acting like there is nothing going on...continuing life as usual. The child is unseen...and knows you are not receptive.
So, I guess you could say, you are allegedly supporting the abuser.
What signs are you sending to your children?
What signals are they reading about you and abuse?
How can they discern if you are for it or against it?
Will you wait for the court of the land to 'change' your mind?
How then does the child feel, when they are relegated to second or third or forth...only IF you can have collaborating evidence, will you change your mind...or maybe not EVEN then.
They will know which relationships are most important to you....the adults in your world, or your child...or a nephew or niece....a little one. Oddly we care less about the children...we supposedly love and protect and more about soiling the reputation of a man who soiled it himself.
Just remember, Allegedly works on us all. He is 'allegedly abusing. The children are allegedly liars, and the good folks are allegedly with morals and values.
No one is beyond question....but the answers are who has more to lose from the truth being known? What will you lose?
It isn't the truth that your fear, it is what you have to lose.
It isn't about whether the child can speak the truth or whether the preacher man is capable of abuse, it is about what it means to your personally IF the truth were to be fully accepted.
Instead of seeking the truth, you will resist it....
You don't want there to be an exhaustive search and introgation of board members....to have the detectives entering into your sacred place of worship....you don't want to know the truth.
Allegedly.
Allegedly you want your religion to be without question, a place of high morals and values. And yet, its actions are decidedly opposed.
If they allegedly wanted the truth, would there not be an overpouring of support from within grabbing any outside source for help. There are no hands reaching outward, except to ward off any interference. The hands are not reaching for help....but upheld to tell us to back off!
Who are they protecting and Why?
Who are your board members?
I know that Ellen Torola has a blog...well a picture blog of what is going on in the FALC community....so far nothing is posted. Why? She has the ear of the community...will she use it? Who from the inside will reach a hand outward for help?
Are they afraid to ask for more supporting evidence for fear of what will spill forth? It doesn't seem like they are openly defending him either, but suspciously silent...no outcry for the little ones.
Allegedly uncaring...and unconcerned by an alleged pedophile...allegedly good christian people.
