What words of advice could I give to someone who finds themselves facing sexual abuse within their families. Are there hard and fast rules? Do some roads lead to sure road blocks and stunt healing and others that speed things along, both with the law and mental recovery? Does a check list exist of what decisions are best...and how to respond correctly for your child?
Is it possible to have items of higher value than others and ones that will flip the pattern of abuse and others that will promote the same old song and dance?
I see this broadly from the viewpoint of having traveled the tangled paths littered with debris of illusions...where pedophiles hid behind the mask of father....and their helpers wore the badge of mom.
What is helpful when your life looks like trick mirrors? How do you navigate and solicit advice, when you yourself can't even see what is right or wrong...when your values have been so mutilated...when so called family turn evil?
When the laws of the land have guidelines to follow...that will depend upon a little child being articulate and brave enough to offer details of the crime....enough to prosecute...Adults who know enough, but are not good enough to put the abuser away...for our laws state, that the child (victim) has to tell his story convincingly.
Are their lives not proof...when they wear the affects in their daily little lives?
I believe, it would be helpful if when we hear of another count of abuse by the same abuser, that others step forth...lend their voices to uphold the truth.
Even IF you are not willing or sure of prosecution, it would be helpful to give your experience that helps support the victims, by showing them, they are not alone.
I know, that the letters from other victims, helped me understand and see that I was not crazy...that my body had a reason to fear him.
What definitive does the law need and will more proof from other victims help make a case? It seems that more of the law protects the abuser and makes the victims jump higher and reach further to get the help they need.
My greatest desire is for other victims to share what they know, to help the little children's stories hold more water, when case upon case echo their story.
In my father's case, the majority of the victims stories all matched, the behavior of sexual misconduct and forceful contact were so similar....down to the detail of the home and where my father sat.
As this latest case in Minnesota shakes itself out, I know that it isn't an isolated incident, that there were others before AND will be others to follow, if there isn't a joint effort to expose him.
This news is spreading like wild fire....and I can only hope that some day soon, the voices will not only be used to whisper, but will bravely be used to help these latest victims prosecute this man. That other families will come forth and walk down the road with them...that there will be a collective effort to push back evil....instead to remain silent in fear.
Encourage those who come forth with stories to share theirs with the local sheriff....if not now, when? How many years and victims have to pass down this road before the abuser will be stopped?
What is useful or helpful....what will help the abuser continue on a free man and what will help the littliest victims?
Don't let the feelings of fear stop you from doing what is right.
What is right, is the path less traveled.
How is that possible that the Right path is the one less used?
I say, to those who are still in the church, to rally each other to let this case be an example of how you are not going to sit silently no more.
