Our Churches

My mind has been twisting around the ideas of not speaking up, not naming names, well pretty much not telling on someone... and the word secret rang out each time.    I couldn't find a word of silence that was helpful for the victims and damning to the abuser.  Just damning for the victim...in silence.   My list for the victim remained empty, while the abuser had a laundry list of reason he would perfer silence.   While mowing tonight, I wondered, what is the real definition of a secret....and here it is. Secret, Adjective Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others: "a secret plan".

Noun Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others: "a state secret". In the context of abuser/victim, what needs or wants to remain unknow?   We all know the answer...it is the inappropriate sexual acts, the sexual misconduct, the child raping that is going on.  There are not positive secrets that want to remain hidden and unknow, but rather all the negative things that are to be kept UNKNOWN. It is far more crucial for the abuser that silence surround this 'issue'. As far as I can tell, He/She is the only one who benefits.   I am not sure if folks realize that you are actually part of the act, part of the event when you know and say nothing.  You are the chorus, the backup non-voices in the silence...keeping the crime from being known.   How is it beneficial to anyone to keep abuse a secret. AND, if this secret keeping business worked in regards to abuse, abuse would be eradicated from our societies, instead it is spreading beyond what our minds can hold.   Keeping secrets about abuse only helps the abuser continue on unchecked. While talking to a reporter, she mentioned how in prisons, the people who commit crimes, especially sex crimes, against children are often sought out and punished, segregated and seen as the lowest of criminals.  Imagine, the prisoners know and stand against these guys, while the free 'good' folks will sit with them in churches. It is wildly insane that even the criminals know enough to part ways....and yet so many 'good' christians are unwilling to see these guys in their true colors. Unwilling to face their crimes, instead pretend that all is well. Or at least Act like they are the upstanding citizens in our society. In fact, there seems to be more truth in prison than in our churches.