The last time I saw my mother, I felt inside...what is pictured above. A small woman in comparison to the world, and especially in her presence. A woman without a voice, a choice. When I walked into her home, three months after my father's arrest, I felt like above. I was not used to using my voice....and certainly not with her.
I did use it though. I said what I needed to say. I stood my ground. And began the the journey or my growing into my self.
As I picture myself in an encounter with her, I forgot to remember, I am no longer the woman/child I was over 8 years ago.
Who I am today isn't the small diminitive woman on the first quilts, or the terrified woman standing against her mother, while standing up for herself.
I wasn't articulate that last meeting. I was on the verge of or in the middle of a break down. A break down of my old "pleasing self" and the small image I had of me...breaking into my own power.
I don't believe, I will easily be reduce in size by seeing her now after all the work I have done on me.....but I will instead find my strong inner sense of self.
I will arrive at the wedding...as I feel in my latest quilts. Large, bright and filled with great energy....a woman who knows her own strengths!
What else I have standing behind me and besides me, is the Health community; from Dial Help, the Houghton County Sheriff, and Copper Country Mental health and a wealth of women who like I, have found our way out of abuse.
I am not the woman/child whose self esteem was barely on the scale....
Today I stand on the other end of abuse!
