I just read the line, "inauthentic authenticity" and how there is a trend in being authentic, and how many are not honest...in their authenticity.
I read this after doing yoga this morning....and what came to me there was how difficult it truly is to live authentically; for it will require you to never pretend in order to 'spare' another's feelings for example.
The road that I chose many years ago was to go towards love, peace and joy...and keeping away from things that hurt me or disrespected me or were indifferent.
It was to live authentically with my self.
It wasn't designed to make me appear kinder to those who for various reason did not bring me love, peace and joy....it did however make me respond authentically to their messages.
This wasn't always easy to react or respond..."Move away from things that did not feel good inside of me" for typically the behavior was attached to someone who carried the label 'family'.
Some Christians continue to preach "Do Not Judge" and "Be Loving and kind to all" and I believe they are being inauthentic or dishonest with their authenticity; by discounting their feelings when in the presence of hurtful people.
To me, it is not kind in any form to pretend or try to love that which you feel repulsed by, frightened of, abused by, shamed by, lowered by etc.
What I hear is that the 'kind' person HAS to work harder to LOVE the 'unlovable'....but that those bringing negative energies don't have to do anything...they get to sit in the chair called "Don't Judge Me - Just Love Me."
And, then if the Christian or Kind Person can't feel peaceful or loving....THEY have a problem.
To me, if you try not feel your feelings as they are or overstep and discount them, you are not living authentically. AND, sadly you're doing this to make the person who is hurting you FEEL better.
This to me is the dance and courtship of abuse.
Where the abusers sit in the easy chair of non-judgement and no-remorse and no-change and the Kind Folks are challenged to feel loving, no matter what.
When I walked among the family of estrangement, I stayed true to form within me.
Nothing within me wanted to get close and be friendly. It, and I knew, that we had experienced non-loving energies and were not going to pretend otherwise in order to make them comfortable...and betray my feelings inside.
My feelings are me.
My feelings are my guide and gauge to my authenticity.
Steering me towards love, peace and joy....and away from indifference, disrespect, self-absorbed hurtful folks.
I can only be authentic when I listen to how I feel.
