As I sat with the injustice of the justice system, it came to me that our solutions will not be with the same systems that are now creating the problems; but something totally different.
Changing a broken system with the same tools that created it, Is insane....so the answers will be far from what we have previously thought were the answers.
First of all, the court systems can't be the healing places....for they were built for justice.
And, I don't believe that Justice is healing for the victims...in fact, the purpose of our court systems is to remove harmful people from access to society; and they are failing where sexual abuse towards children are concerned...at least in our area.
The focus of society and family needs to be on the victims.
What do the victims need to heal from their encounter with sexual abuse?
What will restore their sense of safety and rightness with the world?
What kinds of groups and services are available for children and adult children of abuse? What works and what is not helpful?
Perhaps each story of a sexual predator escaping justice for what he actually did, needs to be followed with what kinds of help there is for his victims. What services will help towards recovery.
It seems to me that we naively believe that by getting the perpetrator off the streets our world will right itself, when there are actually two very separate pathways.
The journey of healing isn't co-dependent upon the long prison sentence...all it does is end the reign of abuse for this one man. The journey of healing and breaking the cycle begins when family and society pay attention to the victims and what they need.
Sadly, what the victim needs is for our attention to be on them...and society and the justice system gives more rights and leeway towards the perpetrator.
All the maneuvering that happens between the lawyers on both sides to reduce and eliminate each charge is detrimental to the spirits of the victims.
It is to reduce sexual abuse to a sorta bad touch....but, not the devastating event that it actually is.
Also families carry a huge burden in the responsibility in how the child heals. For the majority of abuse cases happen within families or with close friends....how then do the adults in the family respond to sexual abuse aligations and or court appearances and the knowledge of abuse? Does life go on as usual? Are new boundaries set?
Each of us carry the same burden as do our court systems.
My father was released back into society...by the Justice System.
My father was released back to being a father by his family.
In that, they did not estrange themselves from him...for they could not flip the tile that said "father" into "Pedophile" and treat him as such. It isn't easy; but it is what is needed.
The family system that allowed sexual abuse to happen, has to be destroyed in order for healing to begin.
When we say we are against abuse, when it happens within our family, we have to be against the family structure that was in place when abuse happened. All avenues and beliefs and structures have to be examined.
As I see the Justice system failing the perpetrators, I also see the family units failing the victims, time and time again. Mostly what I see are victims having to leave the family unit in order to heal; for the family unit is broken and useless in guiding them towards healthy boundaries.
It's brokenness is that abuse is within the family.
Members are sexually abusing members...and there is silence and shame.
How can you keep the family together, when it is broken, and believe that you are against abuse? When abuse doesn't shatter the family structure, it is the clearest sign that it is built upon abuse...it is the 'normal' ingredient in your family.
Each of us has to look openly and honestly as to how do we support negative treatment within our lives and homes. This isn't just the responsibility of the Justice System, this is the responsibility of each of us...we all play a part of stopping it or letting it go free into the life of another child.
What part are you playing?
