What is an open heart on Christmas? What signifies purity and compassion? When do we fail knowing the Spirit of Christmas? Is there an expectation or requirement of Christmas that we can goof up and miss the execution of Christmas? Is there an outer or societal and family expectation or can there be a personal goal? Some how it seems that there are unwritten rules and expectations where you can fail at christmas.
At least from looking in from the outside.
But wonder if Christmas IS an inside job. If its meaning is only known within? If you and your heart and soul meet and it knows its worth...and that is Christmas.
It isn't a day.
It doesn't come in the right and perfect gift, table setting or perfectly baked sweet treat, but rather it is the joining of heart, mind and soul.
That Christmas signifies its possiblilities...but that each of us have to live the life where we are in perfect harmony inside.
I feel Christmas.
I feel the complete harmony inside of me.
This inside harmony is won by being as truthful and self-loving as I can when I am given the opportunities to be Me.
Which is always.
Even at Christmas I remain faithful to being authentically Me.
When society and Hallmark would like nothing better than to see another family reunited. Not healed, but back to being together. Most are not comfortable with broken families, for it shows that Family isn't as strong as they would like to believe it to be. If one family can break and shatter...than others are not immune.
It seems that most would rather a whole family and a shattered individual.
Christmas to me isn't about gathering together broken individuals to make a family...rather its about being a whole and peaceful individual.
I am at peace.
I am one with my broken pieces.
I know joy.
I know love.
I had to break the family to become Me.
All it takes for the family to break is for one to leave...
I wasn't the first to break the family. My father broke it. I am just admitting showing its wreckage...by refusing to get back into the 'family' portrait.
No matter how many years and christmas memories we had, none could make up for the damage of abuse.
What I feel many believe is that the family would heal if I could open my heart and let them enter in.
And I feel it would deny the abuse...by loving those who hurt others.
If this worked; there would be no abuse.
For this is the heart of the abuse issue, the family not sacrificing family...in order to save the individuals.
Instead the complete opposite is happening....Loving the idea of Family has subjected many to suffer silently in order to SAVE the family.
When, in truth, what they are 'saving' is abuse.
Abuse lives and flourishes extremely well in families intent on keeping it together, no matter what. Abuse dies when you are willing to break apart a family in order to honor the wound/hurt/abuse of one child.
My Christmas Wish for all, is to see more wrecked families and many individuals being honored for their wounds.
