"Birthdays are new beginnings, but they're also moments of personal closure, which are crucial if we are to grow positively into our authenticity." Sarah Ban Breathnach
It is the Eve of my 55th Birthday and as Emily Dickinson said, "We turn, not older with years, but newer every day."
I see the new pattern of me becoming more and more distinguished and where my Art and Life resemble each other…the newer me continues to expand.
The new me continues to arrive, even when her arrival isn't welcome or celebrated, she arrives! I arrive…as this Me.
Most have no idea, the cost of changing drastically who you are…in order to live authentic and how there are those who will not celebrate or honor the changes. And, how it feels to knowingly disappoint and cause anger and fear to arise, as I walk in…differently than what they want and need.
To remain true to yourself in the face of all who dismiss that self.
This year has shown me the strength of the new me, the contents and feelings that are so far removed from the shell of me that I was.
The 55 year old me is so much more inside than the 46 year old me.
Our insides and beliefs are worlds apart.
One seems so dark and hollow.
The other so full and light.
It isn't the outward appearance that has changed, but inside where the most work has been done.
The mind has had a complete overhaul and my feelings are dancing and alive.
I see the old me with a frozen mind, set in its ways…and my feelings locked up and silent.
How harsh she was…and how hard it was to pretend to pretend it wasn't so. To play, if you will at being alive, but not free to be.
Maybe it was to pretend to be free while completely under the mind control of a cult like religion and in the clasps of an dysfunctional family.
Where you are told what to do and how and are dismissed if you didn't adhere to their needs.
I celebrate this year as a year where I can clearly see the new me and her patterns of freedom!
