"The Conscious Parent"
"This book isn't a" how to" manual because such manuals miss the point of the present moment nature of conscious parenting. What I want to make clear is that the how to is built into each situation as it arises, not found in a set of instructions. This book is how to use the parenting relationship to become conscious, so that we can spot what's required in our children's lives in the moment an issue arises. Through the accumulation of many a conscious moment over time, an aware family dynamic emerges, which radically alters the playing field from what happens in many families. For this aware dynamic to become a reality requires patience."
"Neither is the goal to change a particular behavior. Our concern isn't with the "how to put my child to sleep" or "how to get my child to eat," The principal task is to put spiritual foundations under both our child's life and our own. This triggers a shift in the elemental way in which we relate to our children, with the result that their behavior automatically falls in line as they become aware of, and true to, who they really are. Behavioral changes are an outgrowth of a shift in the relationship."
"Once our parenting is in alignment with consciousness, the precise manner in which things get implemented becomes a nonissue. If the underlying foundations is strong, the life built on that foundation is going to be a constructive life. Again, it's for this reason I placed the chapter on discipline last - not to minimize its importance, but to stress that unless discipline arises in a field of consciousness, it will be ineffective in the long term."
"To walk the path of parenting consciously, its unhelpful to adopt an all or nothing approach. Instead, the savy parent picks up a piece here and a piece there, aware that even a tiny shift in the vibes in a family has the power to alter the consciousness of the entire family. So keep in mind as you read that the conscious way of parenting I'm depicting is something we inch our way into."
"I repeat: it all begins in this moment now, and in the most ordinary situations."
A Conscious Parent Doesn't Emerge Overnight.
Because parenting isn't an intellectual exercise but a molecular, energetic, momement by moment exchange in which our psyche interacts with that of our children, unless we are conscious of how we are influencing our children at any given moment, we will raise them without heed to their true needs. For this reason, the ability to see - really see- our children separate from who we are is our greatest gift to them. Conversely, our greatest weakness as parents is our inability to honor a child's path as it emerges."
"To parent consciously, we have to become astute observes of our own behavior when we are with our children. In this way we can begin to be aware of our unconscious scripts and emotional imprints as they arise in the moment."
"As we seek to be conscious in the way we interact with our children, we may feel we repeat the same patterns of behavior despite our best intentions. When this happens again and again, we wonder whether our unconsiousness will ever end. It can be discouraging. The fact is that a conscious parent doesn't emerge overnight. To raise children consciously is both a daily and lifelong practice of become vigilant witnesses of our own unconsciousness. Each time we become aware of an element of unconscious behavior, however small it may be, an energetic shift occurs. As we catch ourselves in an unconscious moment and are able to detach from it, we expand our unconsciousness."
"Clarity of mind and spirit don't come without a price. We all have generations of unconscious material to integrate. Unconsciousness by its nature will not - indeed, cannot - be stifled. No matter what our consciousness wills, our unconsciousness has its own rhythm. It will leak into our habits, thoughts, emotions, and presence wihtout our even realizing. Only by witnessing our unconscious as our children reflect it back to us are we able to integrate it."
"In concluding this chapter, I want to be sure that it's clear in our minds that consciousness and unconsciousness aren't polarities, aren't at two ends of the spectrum. Unconsciousness isn't our enemy. On the contrary, it provides the platform on which consciousness arises if we are willing to allow it to do so."
"Consciousness isn't a state to arrive at, a destination. After we become conscious, it doesn't mean we experience no more moments of unconsciousness. Rather, living consciously is an ongoing process."
"Nobody is fully conscious, and we can be conscious in one aspect of our life and not in another - conscious in the way we act one moment but unconscious the next moment. To become conscious is to witness our unconsciousness, which progressively makes it conscious. For this reason, there's no need to treat our unconsciousness as if it were the boogy man. It's nothing to be frightened of, but is the portal to our development into whole human beings." Dr. Shefali
The great part about this, is that there is nothing to learn...for our children will bring our lessons to us...and all we have to do is monitor our own selves.
We are either aware or unaware of our influences we have on our children...and we will either support or deny their true path.
This book is wildly exciting, for it is saying what I have experienced. And, I love how it is a process...like life. Where we get to catch ourselves being unconscious.
Our challenge then is to be a good observer or witness of ourself. In doing so, we will catch ourselves when we don't see our children.
