"Many of us exude an energy that screams, "Life better satisfy my needs!" Driven by this energy, we seek to extract pleasure from life in the exact package we think we require. Because we are steeped in this demanding energy, anything that doesn't meet our expectations feels worthless. Even when something precious is offered us, we find no value in it. Highly judgmental, we resist not only life in its as is form, but also our children in their as is form. Of course, our resistance gets us nowhere because life remains true to its essential nature, flowing in its own way. If we are wise, we recognize this and start flowing with it rather than fighting it."
Dr. Shefali Tsabary "Conscious Parenting".
How interesting it was to read, that when we don't accept life in it "AS IS" form, we also will not accept our children in their "as is" form.
Not only our children, but all who we come in contact with.
I just had a conversation about perfectionism...and its definition, meaning "refusal to accept any standard short of perfection".
We tend to think that perfection is a high goal to reach for, but what I had not considered is the refusal to accept.
What an insane idea or stance to take...refusing to accept. I know they are saying anything short of perfection, but what is perfect and who are we to decide its standard?
Here is another view of perfectionism and the way it leaves those of us who were abused...out. We will never ever be 'perfect' again, and are now the image that broke the perfect picture. If you only see or acknowledg and accept perfect, we will no longer measure up to that standard.
What happens to us who are now unable to be 'perfect' is that we feel estranged or carry the mark of 'disgrace' of no longer being perfect. We are cast out, not for our wounds, BUT for your refusal to accept anything short of the mark of perfect.
How I see dysfunctional families, is that they are not accepting of what is....or as is, when abuse enters in. They refuse to accept...and have this odd twisted sense of rising above, protecting or proclaiming even louder how blessed the family is.
Putting forth a picture perfect picture of family.
I know, that when they resist life as is, they too are risisting me as I am.
When I was able to fully accept life as it is, I accepted me as I am and in turn was able to accept my children as they are...my husband as he is...and so on.
I have to see what the opposite of Perfectionism is....it is "Carelessness"?
I did not know what would come up...it is shocking to see.
How interesting.
This is why most have the high standards of perfectionism...to show they 'care'.
While not accepting anything short of perfect.
