What is mental health?
What's healthy for our mental systems...and what is consider the mental part of us? Is it the thoughts in our head, the choices we make, our beliefs....the way we perceive the world or the way we use our minds to navigate life? What would our psychological wellness consist of? How much do our emotions play a part? And, is there a scale that measures how much we honor our emotions and feelings? Is it possible, that what we have perceived as normal is actually abnormal or at best unhealthy mental health?
Do we call "Mental" anyone who doesn't fit into the 'normal' pattern set forth by society, church and family?
I feel I was born into a mental system and raised to adhere to its rules. It doesn't mean this system is the gold standard for mental wellness. It just means that my parent's mental grip on reality grew into mine.
And, the way they dealt with their emotions in relationships and how they themselves honored their own psychological body, became normal for me. They modeled for me how to respond to life and others...how to treat each other and those around them. I was imprinted mentally by my parents.
Knowing this, leaves a parent breathless.
Knowing that how you deal with your own emotions and feelings, how you live either with your feelings or against them, WILL be the track our children will follow.
When I discovered, what I thought was normal was way off the mark, I had to adjust myself. I didn't wait for my parents to change so I could be right. I had to set out on my own and find my own truth. I had to find my inner compass. I had to explore and feel and deal with emotions and feelings and psychological wounds.
It was to go into a mental landscape denial and sexual and emotional abuse...and to separate and respond and make choices...again. Aware.
Aware not so much as to who they were, but more, who I was.
What did I feel?
What were my emotions saying?
I had to learn to follow my own emotions...and separate myself from how others felt.
Prior, my "mental wellness" was to be the peace maker. I didn't feel right unless and until those in my presence were happy.
It was to live one step removed from my mental state. My mental state was regulated by how others acted, but I, myself was never consulted. I never went inside to decide what I should or should not do.
I was not in touch with my feelings or emotions NOR would I have ever let them take first place in a choice against an outside party.
My vote didn't count, nor was it ever sought out...
For 46 years I completely lived from the outside.
How I see mental wellness now. Is to be connected to your own inner body. To be able to feel emotions and to respond in kind. To put first the integrity and honor of your body's emotional and psychological systems. Regardless of its impact on those around you.
To me, if you are not honest with yourself and with your own emotions, you will not be able to have a relationship with others that will give freedom for them to be 100% themselves.
Mental wellness is to be free to be you!
