I have been listening to Melody Beattie's book, "The New Codependency" and I am finding many things that I agree with or that I am surprised in hearing.
Like "The opposite of Repression is Expression"...she is talking about feelings. When we repress our feelings, they just sit inside of our bodies until we can feel them. They need expression in order for them to be released. In fact, she speaks of feelings as the latest "Catch and Release" program. Feelings and emotions are not meant to be stuffed down or repressed, but expressed.
She, like I, speak about how it is unreasonable to want, or seek, only happiness and joy. How, in order to be authentic, we have to have access to all our feelings. That our bodies are trying to tell us something by our feelings. Our emotions are often asking us to move in some direction depending upon how we feel.
The other thing..."Resist equals denial". When we resist something, we are not welcoming it or accepting, but wanting things to be different. Another way to see and understand denial.
And, that "Denial is Grief".
I knew folks could get stuck in grief, but I didn't understand that they would get stuck on a certain stage or level. That for some who have lost their innocence or sense of security and trust or love, are in grief. They haven't moved on to anger or acceptance. They are still in denial that something has changed in their lives.
Another part that I related to was about gaining power. It isn't that we ourselves find power, but while standing with our truth the Universe aligns itself with us....hence we are empowered.
My brother and I would often split hairs about "grace" and I never could quite put words to how my truth made me feel powerful. This is where it comes from. It is like the Universe sides up to you as soon as you are speaking and acting in true authenticity. It is grace to be one with the Universe.
All in all, there are many more places I would pull from and will when I have the hard copy of the book. I highly recommend this book for those who are disconnected with their feelings. Or, for those who have a hard time speaking their truth.
Codependency is when you find yourself needing others in order to feel.
When you feel someone is the cause of your unhappiness or even your happiness, you are dependent upon them to feel.
It is when you have access to your own feelings, when you feel that you are able to catch and release, when you no longer repress your truth, but express it....that you are no longer codependent...but able to live and feel within yourself.
Codependency is often tagged with alcohol or drugs etc....but really we are all raised to be codependent and that is a very powerless state to be in. Where you believe someone has the power to control your feelings. If they do...you are codependent.
The path to your self is through your feelings!
