I went for coffee with two self proclaimed Christians, who we jokingly said they were 90 proof....or 90% christian in their content of who they are. I replied I was zero proof, that I no longer define myself by any religion.
It was surreal for me to sit there feeling completely empty and yet completely full.
And to find that my content label was missing the old ingredients...being replaced by new ones.
My old content label consisted mostly of unworthiness and sinfulness, sprinkled with a bit of hope of making it to a heaven one day IF I could keep myself from sinning which was unattainable for any extended period.
The old label actually consisted of the beliefs of my old church...filling me up to the brim (90 proof) of its image of a wretched and poor humanity and a body full of sin... leaving 10% as being worthy is a stretch. I am thinking I was 99% sinful.
Under the old label there was no content that I would have consider Me.
In fact, early on, say 10 years ago, when I discovered the denial I had lived in, I felt lost, and that I was going to go find myself, but I didn't know who I was OR even that I had been missing. My whole content had been given to me via religion and how my parents treated me. I was reading my label with their eyes.
My content of Me, lacked Me.
Now, sitting there at the table, I felt completely at ease with Me.
My content I knew.
My content I loved.
My content was perfect.
I was completely complete and I have no content that suggests any religion.
What seems so insane is how religion teaches us about our selves, our bodies and how it sees them...as NOT perfect.
That it is impossible to be perfect.
And, when I suggested that "imperfect" actually says, I M Perfect, so there is no imperfection....it wasn't believed.
How easy it seems it is to believe in our wretchedness and sinfulness and how impossible it is to believe the opposite.
That we are completely perfect.
What would happen to the world's religions if humanity at large knew that they were completely perfect?
Is it not a war against reality to think that things ought to be different than they are.
Like how can my body be sinful?
It loves what it loves and feels pushed back from what it doesn't.
And, in my experience, it had reasons to not want to be close to my parents.
My body has held my truth...for the body never lies.
Perhaps if you need me to forgive and forget, and the body refuses, I could see how you would 'not' trust the body; for you can't get it to adhere to the ways of the mind. It literally has a mind of its own....gut feelings.
Mostly or lastly...I feel that most religions keep us away from the body and its innate intelligence...and even tries to keeps us our essence and away from the freedom of being unique and an individual; a complete and perfect gift from God.
I am 100% me 100% of the time. Failing to do so reduces my own self worth.
There is absolutely nothing I would change about me, nothing I could add or take away. There is nothing I seek to be fulfilled. Inside of me is the wide open space of the Universe.
It was funny to hear someone tell me I was full of sin.
I couldn't find it to be true.
If, I had felt guilty or had low self esteem...we would have agreed.
We didn't.
My experience of me and her understanding of humanity didn't match.
We didn't see me the same.
What was beautiful is we both left with our own contents; completely happy with our labels!
I love mine...
Mine reads...100% Me!
