Here is a post that I had "shared" on Facebook from Jeff Brown.
"I grew up in a home where love was measured by abuse. Not only did they abuse those they loved, but they measured our love for them by the amount of pain we were willing to endure at their hands. Talk about a recipe for a disaster in later life, where pure, vulnerable love appeared suspicious by contrast. Little did they know that our willingness to endure their abuse was not a measure of our love for them- it was a reflection of our own self-hatred. You don’t endure abuse because you love someone- you endure it because you don’t love yourself. Once you do the work to regain your sense of worth, abuse becomes an impossible path."
Even after all these years of exploring the affects and the symptoms of abuse, I hadn't considered...."our willingness to endure their abuse was not a measure of our love for them- it was a reflection of our own self-hatred."
What makes this sentence so powerful is that it isn't about THEM....it is about us!
When it is about us...there is a solution WE can do something about.
And, I know that when I began to love myself, abuse became an impossible path for me to be on. I loved myself enough to say no more.
It isn't easy to start loving yourself when you are full of self hatred, but it IS possible.
I first loved the women filled with self loothing....resentment and cold insides.
I understood why she was the way she was and vowed she didn't have to live like this anymore.
I made changes and put up boundaries and barriers against abusive and those in denial and those who also were steeped in self hatred that they were unable to see me and my innocence.
It has been by far the most wild life journey....to go from self-hatred to Self LOVE!
Thanks to the young woman who felt this post deeply. I had meant to share it here!
