"She had a fantasy, that no reality could compete with," was a line in book I was listening to.
In the story, the woman had created a husband; a perfect husband and was incapable of bringing into reality who he really was compared to what her mind had painted. He had passed away 6 years ago, and at the time of his death there were secrets she didn't know.
And, she LOVED her version of him; regardless of reality.
If she brought in reality, it would change how much she loved him.
He would become a stranger; and unlovable.
How common is this fantasizing and then blaming reality when you have been duped.
Isn't this denial?
How hard is it to let go of perfect for the imperfection of reality?
What mostly crashed in my world 10 years ago was the fantasy I had; my vision of my family...minus reality.
Many see me as mental now; while they cling to their fantasies.
While they continue to forge relationships with the unreal.
That if you pretend to pretend to pretend enough...your fantasy will override reality's imperfections.
I marvel at the minds ability to take the least amount of information and weave the most plausible story... as Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor says.
Not only create a story, but to believe in it wholeheartedly AND then LOVE it.
Love the story in the mind...over reality.
Leaving reality and its sharp contrast and relentless attention to details, completely untouched.
It has boggled my mind to watch this in action.
It doesn't matter how big a stretch it is between reality and fantasy, fantasy will win IN THEIR MINDS.
To lay them down on paper side by each, they would be polar opposites and yet they will go with the mind.
Unflinching.
Unseeing.
Blind.
Blind to what is.
Denial.
"The action of declaring something to be untrue."
How do you declare something untrue?
Is it by saying the opposite?
Or just not speaking the truth.
Can you save your fantasy by omitting the truth?
I had to look up fantasy.
"the faculty or activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable."
It isn't to just dream a fancy dream; but to dream the impossible or improbable.
Do you know what improbable is?
"not likely to be true or to happen."
Its synonyms are "unconvincing, unbelievable, incredible, ridiculous, absurd, preposterous, outrageous...."
"Since improbable means something is unlikely but not impossible, your optimism allows you to keep hoping."
The fantasy is betting your whole life upon something that is unlikely to happen.
Living and holding out for the less than 1% chance it could be true....while the other 99% is ignored.
Remaining optimistic against all odds.
That is where my family of origin resides.
Waiting on the improbable.
I wonder if reality can only come in when you give up all hope.
When you let go of 'it's possible'.
When you realize that Hell will never freeze over...
It is the slimmest of margins that keeps folks in denial.
Imagine, the only thing holding you in denial is the smallest of chances that the improbable WILL happen.
You are gambler who bets only on the worst odds.
And, you gamble with your life....
Your happiness,
Your love,
Your joy,
Your peace and
Your self on the worst; in hopes they will someday change...or your fantasy will match reality someday.
Gambling with reality.
(And, reality wins only 100% of the time....Byron Katie)
