I was interviewed last week by a young student at Michigan Tech for an article she would write for the Lode. For those who don't get the student newspaper, here is what she wrote after speaking with me for an hour.
"A Voice for the Voiceless" By Sarah Harttung
"A large fire can burn down an entire forrest, but within a few weeks, life reemerges. When children are victims of abuse, their lives are burned, their views of the world are distorted, and their trust is shattered. The narrative doesn't have to stop there: Beth Jukuri says that healing can come not only through traditional therapy, but through art."
"Jukuri is a U.P. native currently residing in Chassell. She has been making quilts since the late 1990's, but in 2004, she realized something that would change her life forever: she had been abused by her father. Finding these lost experiences broke her."
"Instead of foregoing everything she enjoyed, Jukuri began using quilting as an outlet for her emotions. These quilts became evidence of the "growth of (her) inner self-esteem through fabric." She wanted to be the "voice for the voiceless," empowering others who feel powerless."
"Women In New Directions, or WIND a social group organized by Jukuri, gathers adult women twice a month to do something creative.This Thursday April 9th, she is hosting an event for women on campus."
"Come to the MUB Ballroom B from 6 to 7:30 to make weather grams, free of charge. These crafts have a verse written on them about a sudden personal insight and then are hung outside throughout an entire season so they can "weather." The members of the Women's Programming Committee planned the evening."
"Beth Jukuri encourages people to take up art because it "allows you to own your individuality" instead of running away from it. Her website, www.imperfectlady.typepad.com contains pictures of some of her quilts and links to helpful websites for the abused." Sarah
I like how she use the analogy of a fire and how the forrest does regrow. And, I would also note, that so can we.
In fact, it is the first step in growing; when we acknowledge our abuse.
I think, many people think, that keeping silent and staying within families of abuse is the grownup thing to do.
I just watched a short video on staying in marriage "for the kids" and how parents think that doing this will be less painful and easier on the kids and more beneficial.
The speaker goes on to say, that what it is really teaching is how to live betraying yourself. How to put your authentic life, if you will on hold, until the children become 18.
I see the correlation with abuse. Most will 'stay silent' for the good of the family....until. Believing that living inauthentic will make a good family.
My speaking up and out loud about my abuse, isn't fully embraced with many. For, I am divorcing myself from them instead of betraying who I am.
I feel that my message to my own children is that I will not betray myself and my feelings in order to 'save' a family. I am showing them how to be authentic even when doing the right thing is the hardest thing.
Here is where I watched the video
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/05/staying-in-a-dead-marriage-for-the-kids/
Our lives boil down to truly just two ways of being in the world....betraying yourself or being authentically you. What is worth betraying yourself for and what does it teach those around? Are you truly teaching a better lesson by betraying your truth and rejoining something you no longer believe in...or love?
What I have learned is that the very thing you silent about is what you teach. You teach by what you are not saying, not doing...believing you are teaching something different.
To be bold and stand up authentically is a beautiful lesson to teach.
