More from Brene Brown.... "Rising Strong"
"Man in the Arena" by Theodore Roosevelt
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat; who strives valiantly;....who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."
"While there are really no hard-and-fast absolutes in my field, there are truths about shared experiences that deeply resonate with what we believe and know. For example, the Roosevelt quote that anchors my research on vulnerability and daring gave birth to three truths for me:
"I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can chose comfort, but we can't have both. Not at the same time."
"Vulnerability is not winning or losing; its having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage."
"A lot of cheap seats in the arena are filled with people who never venture onto the floor. They just hurl mean spirited criticisms and put-downs from a safe distance. The problem is, when we stop caring what people think and stop feeling hurt by cruelty, we lose our ability to connect. But when we're defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. Therefore, we need to be selective about the feedback we let into our lives. For me, if you're not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I'm not interested in your feedback." Brene
This analogy best describes how I feel when I try to communicate with many folks from the FALC.
Not only are they in the cheap seats, many don't even use their names while commenting on the blogs. But, they are free to hurl feedback hiding behind an initial.
It's no wonder I feel like I am laying on the arena floor dusty and spent....and look up to the cheap seats; which are hidden from my view and I am trying to do an authentic dialogue and it fails. I forgot to remember; they haven't entered the arena floor.
I so love, that if you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked....your opinion doesn't count.
Say your name.
Show your face.
Be willing to be on the arena floor.....or be silent.
The distance, and character, between those who have been on the floor, who use their real names, and those who are in the shadows is quite vast.
Can there even be a real exchange under those circumstances?
Don't we at the very least have to say our real name?
Show up as ourself?
Who are you if you can't enter the conversation about sexual abuse and religion without hiding yourself?
I don't get this.
I truly don't.
Why is it, that you hide?
To what end?
And, while I and a few others stand on the floor of the arena, open and exposed, you feel the need to be in the shadows while criticizing our battles.
Can we really face abuse with faceless people?
For the few who bring their faces...I respect you.
And to the faceless ones; I am not interested in what you say...for how can I trust what you say, when I can't even see who you are.
I believe our words are connected with our lives.
If you disconnect your words from who you are....they are just words.
To truly enter the arena of abuse; you have to say your name.
