Are you controlled IF you agree with the sentiment that is controlling you? Are you held prisoner if you want to be there? If you gave up your rights to your own body to be loved and accepted, are you then not a participant, or at very least a contributor, to your lack of freedom?
What occurred to me, is that many (or most) women of the FALC, is that they were taught from childhood to relinquish their rights to their own bodies. They agreed by not revolting against it.
Certainly, they were children when this game began and it was orchestrated by those in power in their worlds. Love and Fear were mixed into the equation.
They don't feel controlled; but loved when they gave up their individual freedom.
Love, to them is captivity, or the lack of personal freedom.
Others loved them more when they went along with the program of being voiceless and choiceless.
To try now to undo the years of conditioning and to separate themselves from this tangle of love bonds...is incredibly hard.
We gave up our freedom for Love.
Now, in order to regain our freedom, we will lose the love.
What some see as controlling; we see as love.
And, IS this love...to be controlled by another?
This unique partnership of agreeing to be controlled, camouflages the wrongness.
We tend to think of control as feeling powerless, not feeling loved and accepted.
I once again, feel it tough to articulate how the intricacies of this works so brilliantly when the person without power WANTS it.
When the controlled person believes it is their Faith.
And, that they are living a life that God wants.
He wants them to be powerless; that Man and God have the right to their bodies...but, not themselves.
Is someone who ardently wants to be a 'good christian' by relinquishing all rights to their own bodies...being controlled?
And, isn't this the perfect recipe for brainwashing?
Where the victim actually believes IT is what they want.
To change their minds to live their lives by the wishes, beliefs and desires of others.
Giving up their own personal choices, wishes and dreams...in order to be a great team player...in family and church.
Isn't this the true meaning of Martyr?
To be killed for her beliefs....and yet the person who dies, is yourself.
You have to let go of who you were born to be in order to be loved and accepted by family and religion.
How do you grab the attention of a woman who has given up her own life to be loved and to be a good christian woman? Who are you actually talking to?
I feel that so many women are clones or the walking dead for the church.
Their separate identities are lost and before they even had a time to be formed; they were molded into the image the church needed.
The very reason, that I found myself at 46, completely empty when I lost my church and family. Without them, I had no idea who I was...where I was going. I was lost, I didn't know who I was; but I was going to go and find Me.
I don't believe that other women will wake up to this same fact, until that which they believes loves them...fails them completely.
It wasn't that I seen there was no Me...but rather that which I thought was love was not and those I called family....were abusive and the church that I thought had high morals and values; didn't have any.
I guess I saw the machine that controlled me as evil...and unloving. My definition of love was empty.
I am not sure what was more shocking to see the reality of abuse OR the absence of Me.
When I took my power back and gave myself the freedom of choice...I began discovering love.
Love of self
Love of life
Love that is Love
My definition of love is freedom.
And, I am very wary of anything or anybody that seeks to control me.
Control is not love...
I had to look up the word control.
"the power to influence or direct people's behavior or the course of events:"
The only power love has, is freedom to be you.
If you are under the influence of others...it isn't love; but control.
If you agree to give up your personal freedoms...it is brainwashing; not love...and not a spiritual practice; but a controlling religion.
In meeting women who are still faithful to the FALC or churches like them...I cannot see an individual person...just a mouth piece echoing the beliefs of their faith. There is no individual there; nor can she make one move that is opposed to her church.
Standing there with captured body and mind...she is empty of self.
The only free movement are those that are in agreement with the church and family.
And yet, she would gladly tell you she is not controlled....but, is a very Faithful Christian Woman. She loves her Church and Family.
Blind to the faults each hold.
Blind to the binds that bind her.
"Bless be the tie that binds..." is a song.
What they fail to notice is the tie that binds, has killed the individual long before it had a chance to become.
Bond together blindly, silently...by and evil force they call love...and Faith.
I created this quilt early in 2004 or 05. "Soul Lost" A perfect vision of me coming out of an abusive family and cult like religion.
