I was curious enough to read this link....and see if there was something in it that would help my hip. http://www.drnorthrup.com/heal-arthritis-release-fear-anger/
One thing she mentioned was; "Typically, arthritis on the left side of your body will have to do with relationships, creativity and other feminine qualities, or the women in your life."
How interesting this was.
As well as this;
Express Your Emotions Then Release Them. Once you have identified the location and meaning of your arthritis, express the emotion(s) associated with it.
Start by placing a hand on your painful body part and say “This hurts.” If you have pain in more than one place, move your hand from one place to the other and simply repeat “This hurts,” or “I hurt here.”
Then say, “I choose to release this” then name your emotion or event. If you cannot name the emotion or event, you can say, “I now clear my anger, resentment and fear out of my joints.” Use this as you peel the layers and uncover the root cause of your arthritis.
I know that the body carries 'unexpressed' emotions and that the mind is also manifested in the body. What I haven't identified with is hurt.
We can easily say, "I hurt"....but is it much harder to pinpoint the cause of the hurt and express our anger towards it.
I have explored and delved into the experiences of sexual abuse; but I am not so certain I have touched base with my hurt.
What hurt me the most?
What caused me physical and emotional pain?
How did this make me feel?
I have been most curious with the affects of abuse; but my engagement with anger was fairly short lived. Meaning it was expressed early on and in an unenlightened way. My response wasn't carefully thought out or articulated. Anger almost detached from me.
Touching directly with inner anger and resentment feels reckless.
Or perhaps it's scary for those are not easily liked or accepted emotions.
I even felt that anger and resentment were senseless emotions. For they raged at something that couldn't be changed.
I didn't think of them riding along as pain...unexpressed.
How do you express rage and anger?
How do you reach in and greet something with such a loud volume?
Especially when you have been conditioned and taught to steer clear AND, when you were so young when the source of pain happened.
I have others express more anger and rage about my sexual abuse than I.
It is interesting to me to note this.
I even think, early on, when I had glimmers of anger/rage/resentment....family was too horrified I was directing these emotions at someone they loved...and I had loved too.
There has to be a weird line that we wobble on when the cause of our anger is laced with love.
It is to be a traitor to love.
This I believe dampens the correct volume of expression.
It isn't politically correct to 'trash' your own bloodline.
So, where and how do we express hurt?
I sit with hurt.
It hurt me when you didn't love me as a little girl.
It hurt me when you didn't love me as a truthful adult woman.
It hurt me when you choose to worry about my father.
It hurt me when you didn't realize how hurt I was; then and now.
It hurts my heart.
It breaks my heart.
I hurt as I am out of the circle due to being abused.
I feel sad.
I can't connect to anger and resentment.
There seems to be a divide between hurt and anger.
That the two emotions can't exist together.
When I focus on the anger it is to expect something different than what you could offer.
When I focus on hurt, it is how I feel.
I don't want to hurt those who hurt me.
I want to be at peace with being out of the circle of family.
If all my anger and resentments were clear; would I still have joint pain?
I must get in touch with anger and resentment and hear what they have to say.
