So, I was refreshing my memory about what "Art Therapy's" definition was so I could quote it tonight at my speech.
"Treatment intended to relieve or heal disorder..."
I then, thought....I best look up disorder; so as not to mis-speak.
And, I LOVED IT.
"State of Confusion"
So, Art Therapy is then to relieve the state of confusion....
What is so appropriate, is how literally, it helps.
For me, IT didn't change the state of confusion my life was...but it relieved me from it.
There truly isn't enough art to be done to change the confused state of a family with a pedophile in its midst.
What I believe therapy's goal is...is for you to find peace with the state of confusion you land in. It cannot change the state of confusion...nor can it fix what it didn't break.
I love that there is a state of confusion...for it truly does leave you in a state of confusion when sexual abuse happens within a family. The two natures clash and are the cause of confusion.
What I have found is that so many want to restore or save the family. They want to know, when I will speak to my mother. When I will go back to family functions.....LIKE I AM THE ONE CONFUSED.
I had to go and see the definition for confusion.
"Confusion is the state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something."
How remarkable!
Wow.
They were/are treating me, like I am bewildered or unclear about my abuse. Like the truth isn't clear to me or I am bewildered about incest.
When I sought refuge in Art, my life was definitely in a state of confusion...wondering what was truth and what was fiction....and depending upon what the truth was....who was I?
I LOVE that art healed my confusion.
About Me.
Truth
Reality
Love
The gravest tragedy... is to be confused about who you are, where you come from and what is love.
When a child experiences abuse from those she loves; it places her in a state of confusion...
She is unclear who her parents are...
How do you pick either a dad or a man who sexually abuses you....and further more, how do the two jell together in harmony, to make one man?
Isn't that where the confusion starts?
My confusion began to unravel when I saw just one.
However, when I saw the pedophile; I was introduced to an abused self.
This self is who I healed in art.
Who I found through art.
Art didn't change my reality; but it was a relief from confusion.
Sorting out the confusion of what was what, where the real truth lay and then my response with awareness...was a very long brilliant journey of a million sorrows. Letting go of what wasn't....and reaching toward new truths brought me out of confusion.
Which is why I no longer play with any hint of untruth.
It is what it is....and there lies no confusion.
I can play with whatever truth comes my way; for I had to wrestle with the hardest ones already. And, in the end; Truth is always kinder.
To my mind
body
and
soul.
Art therapy is a place to seek relief when life's confusions overwhelm you.
It is indeed a refuge in a storm.
I loved my art, my lady...and eventually knew that it was me.
Truth is love and love is freedom to be you!
The best therapy of all is Art.
For in Art you will discover who you are...and to me Art Therapy is anything that will relieve the disorder you feel.
