When it comes to doing things just for your Self or for keeping your word, I believe that women are by far worse at leaving themselves, to take care of others. It doesn't even matter the date they promised themselves and its value, what seems to matter is that they will go, UNLESS otherwise needed.
I asked my husband how often his friends have made plans and then cancelled. He said, he couldn't remember a time.
Women and Men are different in the way they were raised or taught to think about themselves. As caregivers, women rarely put themselves on the list and will easily fall off the list when 'someone' needs them.
Most often, women don't feel they have the right to being higher on the list than say children and or grandchildren. There is a value system and others always are higher.
What does this do to the inner joy of women?
Subconsciously there has to be a price we pay for not being in a secure high spot.
Is there a balance where harmony for all is achievable and what does it look like?
Can we stake out time and days that are not subject to others needs?
What do we feel towards women who are not willing to drop everything, each time another's needs arise?
I have seen 'caregivers' completely drained and lifeless. Is that love? Are we meant to love and care until we have no life left?
My world now includes me. My dates are very important ones. Ones I will not change lightly or unless it is an emergency. I am important to me. My time doing what I love fills me up with life force energy.
I am thinking we need to re-define caregiving and what it means to be self-loving.
I can love you; but it doesn't mean I will leave my life behind to care for you.
My caring is to show you how to do self care well.
To ask for what you need.
Speak up to make your life easier.
To say no to others in order to say yes to you.
And, to be worthy of being on the top of your list.
T
