Being asked to give of my time or money is a very personal exchange. It is one that I haven't contemplated for a long while.
There was a point in my life, where I stopped giving completely, for it seemed I didn't know how to do this correctly. If this makes sense.
My giving emotions or connection was broke. I gave for all the wrong reasons. I didn't know if I would be able to give with a giving heart.
To feel the connection with the receiver so that it was an empowering exchange.
A equal flow of joy.
I am not sure I can articulate this correctly.
For, we are often asked to donate, and most often, we mindlessly give.
However, I now pay attention to what I give to.
What am I contributing to?
What am I adding a part of me with?
How does it make me feel?
Does this match with my values or morals?
Where am I putting me and does it agree with who I am?
When we give, we are placing a piece of us into the lives of another.
We are sharing.
Again it is an exchange.
We often speak of exchanging gifts.
I have to look up that word.
"Exchange"
"an act of giving one thing and receiving another (especially of the same type or value) in return."
To me, it is when we have a mutual respect and value each other...we are exchanging love and kindness. However, if one side doesn't feel the same way, it isn't an exchange. It is lopsided.
This unevenness or difference in respect is where my giving falls away.
It is inauthentic to me to give where I am not respected.
I honor this.
Funny, when I feel the mutual love and respect, giving flows naturally. Something within me doesn't bulk or feel uncomfortable.
There are times when I don't give, that I receive silence.
Which leaves me puzzled. Like it wasn't my choice to give; but an expectation.
I can give when I know that the piece of me I am sharing will be honored and respected.
There is a phrase among quilters, "Quilt Worthy".
Meaning will the person see the time and effort it takes to make a quilt and treat it with respect.
I now see this term spreading to all facets of my life.
Gift worthy.
It isn't about whether they are needy; but do our morals, values match. Is there a personal respect, kindness and love for each other.
Am I free to give or not give and it will not color our relationship?
If you don't not value me, you will not value what I give.
It will not be an empowering exchange for me...or for you.
We will then be exchanging a gift that carries disingenuous energies.
Giving for me isn't about need; but rather an exchange of energies.
How you see me, does ignite my giving heart...or close it down.
My self-respect knows when I am free to give.
