In reading Brene Brown's book, Braving the Wilderness, she writes about having a strong back.

"Strong Back"

"All of us spend our life constantly strengthening our back, softening our front, and trying to listen to the whisper of our wild heart. For some of us, however, the focus of our work will be on developing a strong back. When strengthening our back is our particular challenge, we are often driven by what people think. Perfecting, pleasing, proving, and pretending get in the way of a strong back. Our way to strengthen our courage muscle is learning how to put BRAVING into practice. That work looks like this."

Boundaries: Learning to set, hold and respect boundaries. The challenge of letting go of being liked and the fear of disappointing people.

Reliability: Learning how to say what you mean and mean what we say. The challenge is not overcommitting and overpraising to please others or prove ourselves.

Accountability: Learning how to step up, be accountable, take responsibility, and issue meaningful apologies when we're wrong. The challenge is letting go blame and staying out of shame.

Vault: Learning how to keep confidences, to recognize what's ours to share and what's not. The challenge is to stop using gossip, common enemy intimacies, and oversharing as a way to hotwire connection.

Integrity: Learning how to practice our values even when it's uncomfortable and hard. The challenge is choosing courage over comfort in those moments.

Nonjudgement: Learning how to give and receive help. The challenge is letting go of "helper and fixer" as our identity and source of our self-worth.

Generosity: Learning how to set the boundaries that allow us to be generous in our assumptions about others. The challenge is being honest and clear with others about what's okay and not okay.

"In her interview with Bill Moyers, Dr. Angelou said, "I belong to myself. I am very proud of that. I am very concerned how I look at Maya. I like Maya very much." Our work is to get to the place where we like ourselves and are concerned when we judge ourselves too harshly or allow others to silence us. The wilderness demands this level of self-love and self-respect."  Brene

 

I love that she has broken down what we need to learn and the challenge that will arise when we do.  

What happens when I lose control, is that I begin seeing my life through the lens of someone else.  When I forget to remember that who I am to myself is by far much more important.

Living bravely certainly has challenges; but once faced and overcome, you will be able to look at yourself and talk like Dr. Angelou.

I am so much more in like with me; than not.

And, I am very concerned how what I do or do not do affects how I see me.

My word for last year was dare and a friend gave me a bracelet that said "Brave."

Having the courage to be brave IS the most important, in order to change your life.

The hero's Journey is to become yourself, and to then truly love her, when you do!

Real bravery is to belong to no one; but yourself.