"Welcome out of the cave, my friend. It's a bit colder out here, but the stars are just beautiful." Plato
I love how she was able to articulate the over arching energy of living in a cult for women and children.
How she was only motivated when those she loved were mistreated. And, how she had to learn to become a leader for her own six year old self; as an adult.
I know, there will be many who will try and defend the First Apostolic Lutheran Church, how it isn't 'as bad as this'. But, the outcome is the same.
When a young child's self-worth is reduced, and they are made to feel shameful, there can be no redeeming quality to hold onto.
I love that more and more are speaking up and finding their own self-worth, along with understanding the lies and control system they were born into.
And, she wasn't talking about sexual abuse... just, if you will, Religious Abuse. And that was enough for her to lose herself-worth and love.
Without those two qualities, we see life completely different and we interact in the world in ways without setting boundaries.
When you have nothing to protect or stand up for, there is no need for boundaries.
(Hence we make the perfect targets for sexual abuse - we have no ownership of our bodies and minds.)
I was 46, when I discovered that I did not know me or love me. And I hadn't even been aware of this.
Does it not seem insane that you wouldn't know your own worth? Or, that you didn't love yourself? How is it possible to be so blind, that you can't see you?
What I know to be true, coming from whence I came, is that they bit by bit turned me away from me.
And, I gladly followed for acceptance and approval.
I sold my self to be a good christian, daughter etc.
It totally matters where your self-worth and love comes from.
If someone carries your love or a church your value, you are empty of it yourself.
Even IF it is a negative value, theirs wins over no value inside of yourself.
The reason, many of these churches and cults reduce the value of a person, is it makes them easier to control. Period.
The power of the church, is not its teachings and spiritual beliefs etc. The true power comes from leading the unworthy and keeping them empty.
And, most of these cults and strict religions, use their women and children to be powerful over. Keeping them without a voice and choice.
The one two punch of many in these cults is to first lose their sense of self and then to be abused. It is a double blind as I have read in different literature about the affects of abuse.
And, given these two twists, it is no wonder we can't get them to act as individuals against the machine. There simply isn't a Self to be enraged, to question or have doubts etc.
For those who continue to feel that the First Apostolic Church is benign, you are a spoke in the wheel of the religious abuse machine.
Many who have talked to me about their abuse, while being still in the church, do not want to talk about the church; only the abuse. Like you can separate the two. What they fail to appreciate is how intertwined it all is.
I just do not believe you can as easily abuse a fully aware self-loving child.
Number one, they are not seeking approval and value.
They own it.
Pedophiles can sniff out the child who needs attention.
Sadly, they get the wrong attention. Yet, negative attention is better than nothing. To be seen as something someone desires, is better than being neglected.
Oh, this blog could go on and on.
I will end with this, the only way we can heal ourselves after being a member of this church and being a victim of abuse, is to find your self.
What is so damn hard, is that we have to go find ourselves, we don't know who we are or what we are looking for, and further still, that we are missing.
The good news, is that if you don't know who you are, it means you have been controlled, and you can now find ways to become you.
Little by little, choice by choice, question by question.
Become the person you were born to be.
If only these religions/churches were benign.
Yet, they are gutting us of our inner lights and unique selves... and leaving hollow beings easily controlled.
When I seen this with my newly opened eyes, it was quite horrifying. No wonder most want to remain asleep under the tree; believing in the lies.
We really can't wake anyone up, but we can speak about what our experiences are, and those who have one eye open may see or hear something that will get them to exit Plato's cave.
"Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood by the masses." Plato