Above is a great podcast on trauma with Dr. Gabor Mate, it is long but has some good information.
One point he made was "Trauma isn't what happened to you, but what happens inside you."
This changes how we will look at abuse.
Most often, I believe, folks will think, it happened along time ago, so just get over it. But what they fail to appreciate what happened within us.
It changes our insides, and not only the way we see ourselves; but the self that sees the world.
Dr. Gabor spoke about there being two things our inner self needs as a child; one is attachment and the other is authenticity.
And, when we have to lie to ourselves to be loved, we give up our authenticity.
I know this to be true.
In order for me to be accepted and part of the family unit, my truth had to be cast aside.
And, oddly or perhaps not, when I stood by my self and my truth and began to live authentically, I lost the family.
To live life disconnected from your authenticity, is to be set adrift without a self in the world. I know how this feels. I lived like that for 46 years. I had no clue who the real me was and it was terrifying to disconnect from those I was attached to, because I didn't have a me to be attached to.
It is to be free floating for awhile.
Exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.
I am going to go find myself, I don't know who I am or even that I was missing.
A great listen for there are many things we don't often hear about childhood trauma and the effects it creates as well as different treatments that are trying to reconnect us with ourselves. And, he also speaks about addictions.
He also agrees with Alice Miller and loves her books. He references "The Gifted Child."
