I have listened to a few priests, and catholic leaders speak about the sexual abuse within the church. 

 Mostly, what I find is that they are dancing with words and shining lights in all directions and somehow dodging the full impact of the crime.

I get it.

Certainly they don't want to completely and utterly bring into their lives the complete package of sexual abuse by the elders of the church. It could, or would, destroy the integrity and piety of their church.

They want to acknowledge it, but not fully embrace it.

To see it, sorta and then get back to the business they are in.

 

It has the same imprint of how families deal with sexual abuse within their ranks.

 

One tactic, was to shine the light upon ALL of our imperfections, stating that none of us are free of sin.  This waters down the evil and brings us closer to them.  Deflating the charge and placing doubt and fear of judgement upon US.

A subtle or not so subtle change in the direction and making us somehow feel less worthy and making the abusers seem more like us.

 

Would the church ever acknowledge that God can be found elsewhere, that you will not lose your connection to God IF you were to leave.  

One spoke about a victim being unable to have a God to pray to. 

 

I am not even certain those who have led the church understand the gravity of how they speak about sexual abuse by their contemporaries.  How they are swaying the minds and confusing the messages.  How they are continuing on, unchanged, although speaking words about it.

Words.

Words.

What good will they do?

I want to see a priest drop his robes.

Walk away from his pulpit, in complete and utter disdain for how it has been used.

To walk outside and to embrace God on a one to one basis.

As they stand there in their robes of finery, in the image of power, on the higher plane than their members, they are still using their power to sway and manipulate how to see and deal with sexual abuse.

Only one priest said, If you feel called upon to leave, leave.

To go, and he wasn't going to blame them.

But, he - the leader of the church was going to stay and Lead.

Lead where, I am unsure.

Lead the same as always???

Teaching sins are to be forgiven.

We are all imperfect.

ya da ya da ya da.

 

What I ask, is so completely wrong about leaving?

Where is your God located?

Can you save the sanctity of your relationship with God, when leaving?

Will your spirituality come with you?

 

When I left my family and religion, I was seen as leaving all the good behind.

I left the love of family or my love of family and its traditions.

When I left the church, my spirituality and God, was left behind.

 

However, the complete opposite was true.

I took my love and my integrity about family and its values with me.

I brought them into my family world of my husband and children.

Family mattered more.

I valued and loved deeper.

I created a family environment that was intolerable about sexual abuse, abuse, etc.

I brought in equality. I became less and others became more.  I allowed each of us to be a whole human being.

I didn't leave behind family.

I left behind a family, I left a family that didn't protect children.  I left behind a system that didn't allow children the same vote or  to be seen as equal.

 

Same goes for the church I left.

I didn't leave God behind or my spirituality.

I left behind a religion that too left children unprotected.

I left behind a religion who blessed abusers, and watered down the rest of us so the distance between good and evil met.

I left behind a system that held men higher than women and children.

 

 I too used to think that God was only found in a religion, that family meant staying no matter what, that it was always wrong or sinful to leave. That walking out meant giving up. 

 

Yet, all I gave up was being part of a community that didn't protect its children.

I gave up being part of family who allowed evil to flourish.

 

And, I walked towards a whole new life where I had the empowerment for boundaries.

I walked towards a self that was beneath no one...and yet above no one either.

 

I have even thought, that this sexual abuse scandal within the catholic church will empower many to own their own spirituality, to embrace their own connection with God.  It may be the impetus for change into a more empowered world.

It will take away the hierarchy of power and the imbalance many were raised into.

Where we don't need an institution to tell us what is right and wrong. 

We need the space so individuals will find a more intimate connection with their soul.

 

I wonder what the victims feel as they see the church leaders leading in their usual way, where nothing really has changed.  Where the sheer numbers didn't make a difference. The church will go on as usual. 

Words are spoken from the pulpit.

Sure, there are new rules. But, for the most part, the ones with the power are wearing the robes.

Until there is complete equality in power, things will remain sideways.

It is the landscape of imbalance, where abuse happens most often.

 When institutions and societies seek equal balance and empowerment, we will begin to carve inroads into the places where abuse flourishes.

Sexual Abuse is about power.

When we give equal power, the abuse numbers will start to drop.