When I see a victim of sexual abuse break their silence, I see a person who is breaking down the wall of disempowerment. I see them as taking back their life, and saying I will not be complacent in your crime.
I see a woman (man) who is now willing to own their truth, no matter how popular it is with those around them.
I see them as someone who is willing to add their truth to reality and let it change.
I see someone who knows they will not be believed and speak anyway.
I see them disrobing the 'good facade' and displaying the monster she was traumatized by.
I see them as beginning a chapter in their lives that will redefine them.
One that will build upon the courage it took to speak.
What I want them to know, is that there will be doubters, but never doubt yourself, your body and mind. You standing by your truth will create a world that is beyond what your mind can visualize.
There will be those who distance themselves from you and it is okay.
Those who do, want to remain in a reality where your truth is not honored.
Becoming a whole you, with your truth, will draw to you, new strong, empowered women.
You are not only changing yourself, but you will change the legacy of you.
Speaking of abuse, setting boundaries, are all part of a new life skill set you are learning.
It is scary and thrilling at the same time.
The frightened child within you is cheering you on and the new empowered woman is being born.
For those who can't see the shackles falling off of you and the freedom of speaking out loud against the crimes done to you, as being a beautiful thing, are not worthy of your time or consideration.
Everyone will have an opinion, based upon the bravery of their own lives.
Those who fear change and the truth will not seek to believe you.
Each time a victim dares to beat on the wall of disempowerment to break it down, allows another to dare.
It isn't the ones who clamor to defend your abuser you need to listen to; but the cheers of those who believe you.
Our voices may start out shaky and weak, but once we taste the freedom of the truth and feel empowered, we feel the new strong woman being born.
It is easy in this life to be a victim, to play it small. To live in the smallest darkest part of your mind.
It is much harder to come out and show your wounds to the world.
To stand besides your broken self and make choices to become a new self-loving empowered self.
I honor you.
Your words and your bravery to speak up.
Knowing full and well, the consequences of your choice.
You most often than not, will lose the life you have and enter into a new reality.
One where your abuser is no longer the person the world thinks them to be.
And, you, the one who breaks this truth, will be judged and tried by many among you.
It will be you, who is shown in the brightest of lights, and the monster stays silent in the dark.
He will not collaborate you truth, until it serves him.
Those who are wondering why we don't speak up earlier, to share our truth of sexual crimes against us, are the same ones often defending the abuser.
We know, that our truths will not be celebrated, let alone often believed.
We will be colored with the truth of the crimes against us.
We will be seen as the ones who wrecked a reputation, a family, a coach, a teacher etc.
We are not seen as heroes.
And, yet we are.
We are breaking our silence knowing we will be the ones made to feel the blame and shame for doing so.
I know our society is so maladjusted to reality, because this is so.
How is it possible that it takes hundreds of thousands of victims of sexual assault for the Catholic church to even begin to talk about it?
How is it possible that a University and Gymnastic Association allow volumes of little girls to be abused? And, even when it comes to light, it doesn't stand by the girls and grown woman?
Seeing all of this, it is no wonder victims of child abuse remain silent.
It isn't why we didn't tell, but why would we?
What is the cost of breaking the silence.
Our worlds change, but more often than not, the rest stays the same.
Institutions and reputations of so many are defended and life goes on unchanged.
Why then do we speak.
We speak because we can no longer live with the lie inside of us.
The lie that we were not abused.
We were.
And, the cost of this silence has been to kill our true self.
We speak to become whole and truthful and to embrace the reality of the crimes committed against us.
More often than not, we know that the rest of the world will not change, that he will be prosecuted by the laws of the land. We change because we need to embrace our truth and to stand with our wounded child.
We cannot be a whole person while living a lie.
I applaud the power it takes to speak up, no matter when it happens.
Speak the words of your truth!
S
