IMPERFECT Lady

Environmental Art Challenge

On Facebook a local Art Teacher shared this idea for outdoor art project.

 

My granddaughter and I watched it and we both agreed it would be a fun project for tonight.

(I had disappointed her by going for a bike ride by myself before she came tonight.)

So, we set out to gather things we saw on the ground.

It is amazing what the idea of a scavenger hunt did for what we noticed along the way.

And, she had an idea of what she wanted to do - a Cat.

I decided I would create a bird.

So, we walked and weaved into the forest and along the road - keeping our eyes open for potential cat/bird like pieces.

I love her imagination.  And on the video the Art Teach told a story, so Sylvi had a detailed story going as well, as she created her Celebration Cat.  

My bird was quite flat and normal after her wonderful story.

She was perplexed why my bird was facing sideways and her cat showed its face.

Her cat had a celebration crown, streamers, and it was a surprise party that wasn't the cats.  

I love her vivid imagination and how she jumps into every project with such confidence!

Thanks Melissa Hronkin for sharing your wonderful idea.

It had us outside in the fresh air for an hour and a half!

Art and nature naturally go together!

 

Driving on the Right!

My Jeep is in the Body Shop for repairs from the Hit and Run.  I had planned for me to be out of town for part of it, knowing I would not be a happy mail lady delivering from a car. 

The trip was cancelled, but not the body repairs.

 

I was given a loaner car. (For which I am very grateful, otherwise I would have had to rent one.) A pontiac.  A low to the ground pontiac. Oh my gosh, I was amazed at just how low it was.  I hit my knee on the first try in, and knew I was in for a not so fun week ahead.  

Or a funny week.

Mondays are typically heavy mail days, so I took the day off, so not to be overwhelmed on my first ride in the car. 

 

Yesterday was a tough day, mentally and physically.  I was spent and not very happy. And, there were many moments that I appeared to be a crazy lady.

I have not driven a left hand drive vehicle much in the past 10 years.  

What typically are mindless movements, had me confused.

Just figuring out what side was the drivers side - had me always on the wrong side; puzzled when I opened the door to see a mail tray.

Or, standing by the trunk, lost without a handle.  I would have to go back and click the key  fob - Again, and again with each package - forgetting to have foresight.

 

In order to maneuver a left hand drive vehicle for mailbox delivery, I have to be able to reach easily out the right-hand side of the vehicle.  Which means to drive and reach, I sit in the middle.  Now, while I was a backup delivery girl, I did this all the time. I got used to it, no big deal.  But after years in a right hand vehicle, this seemed backwards and clumsy.

I control the pedals with my left leg, and steer with my left arm.

In order to get out of the vehicle, I have to scoot over onto the seat.  

I don't scoot like I did when I was young and would sit by a boyfriend. 

I huff, puff, and get to the edge and then roll out sorta.

The buckle that holds the seat belt, reminds me it is there, only when I feel it dig into my hip or my bottom.

The ceiling of the newer cars, have a place for sunglasses and stuff, and I need to dip before I scoot.  The times I forgot to dip, I would knock my hat off.  Chuckle sometimes and swear other times. I feel like a flop out all out of breath and sorts!

The middle seat in the car really isn't a seat seat.  It usually has the console or cupholder down.  I flip that up and then sit there or mostly there, but also on the passenger seat edge, which slopes down for the seat part of that seat. Which if you were really sitting all the way in it, it would fit your bottom well.  

 

 

These struggles are just to be in the vehicle and deliver.  

I know I have done this, I know many do it; but it is hard to go backwards from a right hand made for delivery vehicle to just a regular make do one.

 

So, the next fun part is figuring out how to organize in order to actually have a workable mail car and keep the packages and mail easily in reach.  

I had a variety of cars when I was the backup mail lady. Some had dashboards that were awesome and flat, or glove boxes that would hold my drink, or ashtrays that made perfect yogurt holders.  Some had wonderful big backseats, where my tubs could fit neatly to hold small packages etc. Trunks with low entry for getting in heavy mail trays with ease. Or big and roomy to hold large packages and a bigger volume.

Each car has character points that make it an acceptable mail car.

Even the height of the car makes a difference.

 

Where the mail goes and packages big and small all depend upon the vehicle you have.

It takes time to orientate yourself, and the mail, for a smoother delivery.

 

This pontiac seemed to have everything I didn't need.  The slope on the dash has my phone sliding off, mail and small packages, that I automatically place there.  No safe place for a lunch, and the tubs and trays are so so placed.  You can deliver from there, but it gets on your every nerve and by the second half of the route, my body is done and done sitting so awkwardly.  You get slap happy for everything seems like a struggle and you are not up for each little task.  I haven't felt this inept in a long while!

 

 

This pontiac as I said is low. Like the hood of it is lower than the bumper on my jeep, low.

So, you can imagine my view compared to the jeep when looking at mailboxes. There are literally a few mailboxes I cannot reach, let alone see into.  

While this one was high, it isn't the highest on the route. I just looked up and laughed.  Like really???  My arms seemed too small.  And, If I reach too far out of the window, my foot slips off the brake....and I roll forward.  Insane and hilarious!

 

Today flags were up on a couple of high boxes, which the only way to serve them, was for me to get out and retrieve the mail.  Not the safest practice for sure, but it felt good to be out of the car - after I scooted, huffed and puffed, sometimes hat on, other times hat off.  I am sure folks will start wondering when I exit the vehicle to deliver mail. 

 

If my backup had a car, I would put notices in the high boxes, the 'regulation height is 46 inches off the ground", which is not a commonly known fact.  

By the time I get back to the Post Office, my body, mind and soul are spent.  Just from operating a different tool than what I typically use on my job.

I also noticed, I didn't look about as much. Well for one, I seem so low to the ground. In fact today a pheasant almost flew into my open window.  That I did see.   But, with so much that is out of sorts, my vision became closer to my needs.

I have always been grateful for my jeep. I have worried about its safety, knowing if and when something happened to it, I would be back in a left hand drive vehicle, which I would have to make do, to do my job.  Doable, but the stress takes all the fun out of running mail.

My jeep is scheduled to be done on Friday. The guys at the body shop, sorta knew I needed it returned as quickly as possible.  I can only hope they do not run into any snags.

My backup lady, who did the mail on Monday, asked me on Tuesday morning IF I had practiced driving the car. I replied, "No.  It will be like riding a bike."  Well, I then had to tell her, 'Yeah it is like riding a bike, a bad bike."  A bike with a bad seat, handle bars to far to really reach comfortably and same with the pedals.  

Today was a bit better.  I am learning to adapt to less than ideal tools, and my body was less sore. Which is sorta scary, that it too is adapting to slouching, stretching, and leaning.

I have two more days to go, (hopefully) in the pontiac - and oh what a happy mail lady I will be to be back in the bright green jeep!

I most likely will still be a bit crazy, huffing and puffing and with crazy hair and hat; but I will no longer be stressed about the vehicle!

It is not a necessity, or a must have, but it certainly takes 75%, at least if not more, stress away from my job when I am driving on the right!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This parade.

All it takes is one lady biking, and a woman with balloons joins in to make a parade.  Add a bird on the back, and it takes on a new tone.

Sylvi said, "I think the bird needs to be playing a flute."

 

Today, I came back to the parade and added a few more things.

When the clown joined, it started to feel more like a real parade. I love creating her.  I have to do more silly ladies!

With all the small loose pieces, I feel anxious until it is all sewn in place.

After showing this to a friend  - She said looks like the clown wants to be holding something  - maybe a flag???  Like an Earth Day flag?  

And, so here is what I finished up with.

It's a busy quilt in these quiet times. I am not sure if this represents what my mind is doing    - a parade of emotions, ideas, thoughts and feelings.

Tomorrow I will add the binding.  Maybe something to calm it all down. 

Doing art is a neat process and sharing with friends and adding pieces to help move the story forward, or to balance things out.

There is lots going on for this one small piece, but there is lots going on for each of us.

Let's give ourselves credit for doing the best we can as we traverse through these new times.

One day the parades again will happen.

We will gather and be close.

And, we can be a crazy bunch enjoying life.

I love this parade!

 

 

Revolting against It

We see the world through our beliefs, our fears and often our guilt, and even our wishes.  

It is hard to get a clear view of reality.  

A reality that is stripped of everything but actions.

 

Reality is often divided into those who see, and those who are blind.

Or more, those who believe and then the nonbelievers.

 

In my experience, it is near impossible to change someone else's mind.

Or, to clear their vision.

 

The believers believe in that which they have been programmed to believe.

Actions will not sway them, facts will not be allowed to enter into their already made up minds. 

 

Reality doesn't care what you believe or what programs you have running in your head.

Reality is.

And, wins only but 100% of the time.

 

There is no point in fighting, fearing and arguing with it.  The sooner you can come to peace with reality, the more conscious your choices will be.

 

As a wise woman said, "In the moment of a crisis, you are only given a few choices."

 

In the case of this pandemic, we only have a few choices. We are either part of the slow down or part of the problem.

 

What has been so interesting to me, is that the folks who belong to a very strict religion, a religion who has been telling them what to believe and directing their lives since childhood, are now up in arms about the government "TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO!

I am perplexed by their response.

And, then not.

 

The religion dogma or conditioning is a sleight-of-hands, in which they have been brainwashed; but feel they have free will.

This is very hard to understand or for me to articulate.

Brainwashed controlled folks, acting like they are free, and that the government is trying to control them. They don't want to have their rights taken away, when they have already given them up to the church.

What free liberties do they truly have?

The women do not have rights to their own bodies.

The things they are not allowed to do - sins - control them in ways they cannot see - BUT they feel they are free.  Freely choosing to not do this or that.

 

It blows my mind, and not. That the most controlled folks are now up in arms about the government telling us to stay home for the health of others.  

They are more concerned about their rights and being controlled, then infecting others by their actions; or non actions.

 

Their fear of losing their power, which is already gone, is what is causing them to act irrationally.

 

Perhaps it is their subconsciousness making them revolt. They can't afford to lose whatever small freedoms they have left.

 

It isn't the Covid 19 that has them in fear.  It is the way the government is choosing to slow down its spread. They are unwilling to lose their freedom to save the life of someone they don't know.  

And, I am sure some are afraid of the loss of their jobs, money and what it will do to them financially. But, what I hear most is the conspiracy and how the quarantine is infringing upon their rights.

 

Mostly, it is complicated. We are all coming from different walks of life, being asked to do the same thing.  

Being one that still has to work, my circumstances feel different.  We try to follow the rules while being out and about.  

I respect the virus, and I fear those who are revolting against it.

 

 

 

 

You are Present

On Tim Ferris's podcast last week, there was talk about a Dead Time or Alive Time. This was pertaining to how we will spend our time during the Covid 19 virus.  

 

I see it as something that would be good for all time.

It is good to even understand that there is dead time, and then time that is alive.

And, can you tell the difference between time that is dead and then time that is alive.

 

Is it the time that is alive or dead, OR is it our souls our spirits the essence of who we are feeling alive or feeling dead?

 

During this virus crisis, I am not one who is at home, so my time is pretty much the same.  

I don't feel like time is dead or at a standstill.

If that were even possible to stop time.

 

I am wondering if time isn't dead; but we are dead to ourselves. To the part of us that makes us unique.  

There are moments when you feel more alive than dead.  Times when the inner most part of you feels alive - present and curious.

And then other times where that part of you is silent stifled and feels dead.

 

We join time.

Our being and time dance through the days.

 

I used to feel used by time.

That it somehow had its way with me.

 

What I didn't realize, was that I wasn't free to be me.

 

The freedom to be myself has given me Alive Days.

I am alive.

 

It maybe hard to articulate the dead days of following the rules and people pleasing of others.  How there were not very many instances where I sprung alive.

Now, it is the opposite.

 

Even when time is carved out for work. I can decide how I will engage in those hours. Will I numb myself in order to not see the time pass, OR will I be awake to see what pops up in front of me?

 

I hope that most everyone is finding themselves Alive.

For, we are in the midst of virus crisis, one where folks are dying.

If it isn't you at this time- feel what it feels like to be alive.

 

In the first few weeks of this Virus, I was in fear of it.

Or perhaps in fear of dying - that I stopped living.

 

I then decided quite matter of factly, that IF I was going to die from this virus, I best start living.  I want my last days to be alive days.  I want to be aware of what being alive feels like.

 

I didn't want my alive time to be full of worry, dread, and being dead inside with fear.

I will instead take the time to live.

 

I love that my life is full of alive times already.

 

Maybe Alive Days are days we feel alive inside and have nothing to do with time.

So, as this new virus integrates itself into our worlds, how will it find you?

 

I don't want have dead days before I die.

 

Maybe this virus is here to show us how to be alive.

What is important and how we join up with our time that we have today?

When we look back on this time, will we find that we Lived through it or did we hold our breath?  

 

The virus has us paying closer attention to many things.  It can be a great teacher if we let it.

 

For me, time and life feels more precious.  

I want to be alive through these days.  

And, I hope I appreciate the human interactions of touch and closeness so much more; now that it has been taken away.

 

I want to feel the aliveness of human connection.

Kisses of baby and their chubby parts.

Hugs of friends.

Touches of kindness.

A hand placed in understanding.

Gathering

Gathering

Togetherness.

 

The pause is here to allow us to catch our breath in order to live with more alive days!

Alive days now

During the threat of the virus.

And, 

After.

Live as if you might die; for we all are heading that way.

Time isn't dead or alive.

We are.

 

Live for the moments when time disappears and you are present.

Be Well, Be Covered, and Have Fun!

After finding some elastic last week, I have made a few masks.  Some I gave away to Essential workers and friends.  

I kept one for me, it was one of the first and it had design/sewing issues.  I am not good at following patterns.  Their mind and my mind - just don't see things the same way.

I found that when my masks were completed one side was longer than the other. I stopped pinning - figuring I could do this without all the fuss.  I guess there is a reason seamstresses pin!

 

I had troubles with the sides, where you are supposed to put on this cuff or hem thing.  I had to improvise a way that made sense to me.

In the end, I was able to accomplish masks, that are serviceable and sorta worthy of wear.

With a little bit of seam ripping and adjusting, the masks were done.  

 

Yesterday was my first time wearing a mask.  In the mail jeep, I am not in crowds of people, and most who I do see, keep their distance.  

So, as the time came to make the decision to wear a mask or not into the grocery store, my sense was to just do it.

I felt silly in the jeep with it on.

But, I stepped out and went into the Keweenaw Co-op, where I felt not silly at all.  99% of the folks had them on AND gloves we were issued as we entered.  As I walked around, I felt responsible, like I was doing what was suggested; when in crowds.

Oh, and I kept my prescription sunglasses on the whole while. I wasn't about to fiddle with taking them off and on.  

So, I looked like a fancy robber.  A friend said, "Too bad the banks are not open now!"

 

Off to Econo Foods.  The percentages were the opposite. Very few had masks.  Most were just walking around uncovered.  

I didn't feel weird or silly even then.  I still felt like I was doing my part in this pandemic.

We are not used to wearing these, and it does feel weird to be covering your face, but it may become something we will find much more commonplace in the days/weeks to come.

And, the more of us who wear them, the more others may be inclined to join us.

There can be much fun to be had with these.  Here is what a creative friend did with hers!

Let's add a little fun to this time in our lives!  It is serious, but we don't have to take ourselves so serious!

Be well, be covered and have fun!

Elizabeth Gilbert - Ted Interview

I listened to a podcast yesterday with Elizabeth Gilbert and Chris Anderson and I think many will find this helpful.

 

 

I love her calmness, her acceptance and her stories.

"The sense that you had the control is a myth."

"Surrender is so relaxing."

Those two sentences are exactly what brought me peace.  I am NOT in control and it brings me peace.  I am only in control of my two hands.

The anxiety is believing we are in control, and if you surrender, it will truly bring you into a space where life is beautiful in the midst of this all.  

To narrow life down to this moment.

Right here.

Right now.

Today or this minute.

 

 

And, she's right in that we are very good adaptation.  It is amazing how we find new ways to live.  

 

Her point of thinking of this social distancing as a retreat, I love.

I am not in the space of being home for days on end, and it is leaving me feeling like I am missing the retreat.

I am missing the days of solitude.

The days of being idle.

Of feeling the quiet stillness of being in the world - separated and in the space of being with yourself.  

May all who are home alone, find things that calm you down and fill your days of creative ways to be with yourself.  

 

I am in a different space, for I have two places to be; either at work or at home.  It has simplified my world - and leaves me in the space of doing more of what I love.

 

I hope watching this video helps.

Thank you Elizabeth Gilbert