It always helps to hear others speak about their childhood abuse, the affects and what has been helpful. Yesterday I listened to Tim Ferriss Show Podcast.
https://tim.blog/2020/09/14/how-to-heal-trauma/#more-52536
He affirmed much of what I know to be true, about how the body keeps the score, how you are dealing with the affects, whether consciously or not.
Our inability to feel that which was done to us, rides with us unexpressed. It may come out in over the top rage at minor incidents and a multitude of expressions.
What he is learning and sharing will help many - for some of his modalities to healing are non-conventional.
He and Debbie Millman speak about being identified as a 'victim or survivor' and would rather not be put in a separate category in humanity.
I get this.
We just happen to be part of humanity who has experienced being hurt by the hands of another human.
We are not different than you.
We have experienced different than you.
The separating us, leaves us more ostracized and put aside.
And, rarely is the abuser scrutinized as we are.
Rare is he/she cast aside as we often are.
He also has trouble with forgiveness. He likes to see it as being less hateful. Or that the power of rage has diminished.
I see it much more as accepting the past can be no different. That what happened - happened. As an adult I now can chose with whom I will have relationships with.
It never was helpful feeling to me to "forgive" in a way that would seemingly say, "It was okay" I forgive you.
It is interesting to me, how many of us who have experienced abuse have trouble with forgiveness. It makes total sense to me. Our lives have been remarkably scarred by the event. How we live, love and feel about ourselves is dramatically altered.
It takes years of self inquiring, self introspection, and self awareness to even begin to begin to heal.
The work of a human to get ahead of the affects of abuse, is beyond what many may believe.
It is not as easy as forgive and move on.
Forgive and get back into the family etc.
You can do this - but the affects of abuse will not cease to exist.
Forgiveness does nothing to the wound of being abused sexually - young or old - it affects you very deeply.
I highly recommend this podcast and to read through his extensive list of books etc that may help you on your journey IF you have experienced sexual abuse.
