Sending love to the deconstructed
church kids that have a weird
relationship with Christmas.
The melancholy or isolated
the ones doing their best to salvage
the good stuff. The ones reimagining
it for the kids, or tossing it altogether.
You're seen and you're doing great.
This was posted by a friend on Facebook.
It sorta captures my feelings about Christmas.
There is a melancholy for sure.
Music and songs from the long ago religion being sung.
Distance and lost faith.
While I feel free - there are now disturbing memories attached to the songs.
It isn't that I am seeking any religion to fill this gap.
But, during these holidays it leaves you feeling bereft.
Reminders of religion are everywhere and you are sorta made to feel less than, when you don't have a good relationship with faith. Like a true sinner.
When folks urge you to "keep Christ" in Christmas - I feel their overbearance.
Christmas lost its innocence - when I lost my faith in religion.
It now carries certain tones and expectations - unmet.
I wish there were christmas songs for the deconstructed church kids. For those of us who live outside of faith.
I thought of faith and hope and love this christmas.
And, I find those can be non-religious, and more - sentiments of love.
It would be good if you could salvage the good from the bad and make a mismatched christmas - that was more about love and less about christ.
I do have a problem with a god who has a special child.
Just as I would have trouble with a parent who had one.
My heart weeps for me as a child - in a religion that made her feel less than.
The unworthy child.
O Holy Night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary soul rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
My new belief is that each child is born worthy - complete and sin free.
It is only our minds that create them less.
Like I said, a complicated relationship now with songs of christmas.
If we were all taught we were perfect just as we are, then we wouldn't need a religion to 'save' us.
It seems that it creates the lack and then sells the fulfillment.
My reimagined Christmas is love.
Where each person is perfect.
We don't need to add or take away anything.
Our worth isn't dependent upon someone else.
I love my kids just as they are. They don't have to do a thing to become more worthy - and the same for my little grandchildren. I would hate for them to even think for a moment they were not whole and complete just as they are.
I am grateful for love and the love I have for my family and friends - and total acceptance of who they are. There is nothing I could add to make them whole.
At the end of the day I am relieved that it is over - tucked away for another year.
The ghosts of feeling unworthy.
