IMPERFECT Lady

Played So Much.

The only Art Show I do, is less than a week away.  It is time now to look up from what I have created, price my art and start getting organized to show.

There is a big difference between doing art, showing art, and selling art.

 

I love getting lost in new ideas, in playing with colors and fabrics, and this year new mediums.  

 

It is like each new idea gives birth to another idea - a cascade of inspiration.

These faces were so much fun to play with, they captivated me for weeks!

These are inspired by Freddie Moran.  They are way too fun - I can't know if they will sell - but my joy has already happened.

If you try these, I am pretty sure you won't stop with one.

 

I then saw these scrappy trees - made from Fabric Twine.

Oh my gosh. I LOVED making the twine - great for at the end of the day - keeping my hands busy while I watched my latest binge on Netflix. 

Another addictive activity - I loved the twining and I love the tree making and I love the final trees.  They filled me with joy and happiness - while I worked on them.

 

That led to scrappy cards.  These were way too much fun. I had a packet of blank cards and envelopes from many years ago. I used what I had.  It was interesting to sew on paper - and so much easier than actual quilting. I will play more with this medium.

 

Those inspired Gift Tags. Smaller and I had to cut the paper etc. I kept them all trees. I didn't want to put too much time into these - this close to the show.

I would love to play more with fabric, inks and even paints on cards - no time now - but this has fueled a new avenue to explore.

I inherited a boat load of old jewelry and so I began to recycle it.  What fun this was. I found out I am pretty much a bohemian sorta girl.  I loved the imperfection of it all.  I got a few made for the show - but will continue to explore this after as well. 

 

And, those led to Fiber Beads.  Oh My Gosh who knew there was even such a thing. In researching if you will - what to do with old jewelry I happened upon the fiber bead.

Again lots left to explore. An endless road of possibilities.  This new art also filled me up with new energy, ideas and joy.  

 

In the midst of my own art journey my daughter came home - she wanted to do projects while here - one was to play with clay. What fun we had.

My girls did a much better job than I - handling the clay. But, I was still joyful in what I had made.  So these too will be part of my display at the show.

So, I have expanded my art - I have tried new things and had a ton of fun playing.  

 

Now the business side of the art is here. Pricing and anticipation of showing what you made.

A part of my soul is in each piece or for sure a my signature expression.

 

I am now tasked with pricing what I created.

Putting a value on it.  

There is a place where it honors the art, me and the customer.

 

To all the artists who are in the show - this last week as you sit surrounded by your art - you look outward now to how others will receive it.  You start looking more critical or at least I do.   This is the hardest part of being an artist, show yourself in public.

 

In this process the head takes over from the playful confident artist.

This is where the judgement comes from - and the self-conscious part.

If you give it free will, the head will convince you you are worthless - and so is your art.

I am thinking that doing art allows me to live away from my head and all its rubbish.

I also know that the energy I experienced while doing my art  - it is what is in my art - not the false words of my head.

 

So, I just wanted to put this out there, for I know I am not alone.

To all the artists that show and sell art - you are badass for taking what you created in private and put it on display for all to see.  

 

What I love is to see new art, to witness creativity in action.  I LOVE art, the artists and the shows.  

A friend reminded me, that by being in a show, it makes you more creative. I believe this to be true.  Without a show on the horizon - I don't believe I would have played so much.

 

See my play on display on November 12 from 10am until 4pm at the Houghton High School - Keweenaw Art Affair.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I live in peace

Ten years ago today, I was the Keynote Speaker at Dial Help's Gala held at Michigan Tech. My Storyline quilts were also on display. I was going public in a fancy way.

 

I remember the feelings of shame/anxiety and angst that collided with strength, empowerment and courage. I felt fear and bravely went ahead anyway. I also was excited to show my quilts - my journey in fabric. The beautiful colors, expressions and healing they held.

A friend said, it was my coming out.

 

In a way, it was me introducing me to the world - the me free from the cloud of denial. Yet she was fairly new to herself - I can see now - 10 years later.

 

While I was in the healing process - and had uncovered and lay bare so much of my wound - I hadn't the time for re-growth. I was still pretty raw and yet I stood up and shared a part of the victim's journey.

The main idea was to be the voice I had longed for, and to speak about what is most often kept silent.

 

Having my quilts present with me, softened and made more palatable my words.

 

Speaking truthfully about the reality of having a pedophile for a father and a mother who knew and allowed it to continue for generations - and how it sets you up in reality - was my tone for the talk.

 

What is so hard for others to understand is how at 46 I suddenly knew what I didn't know before. How denial is just that denial. 

 

When you are raised in a false landscape, you believe it to be your truth. You are not given both sides to debate with.  It is very difficult for my mind to understand the depth and darkness of denial - let alone explain it.  The sheer will of the mind is against you.

What I know to be true, is that there are many souls who live in the land of denial. They believe in its false truths as if they were true.  They are lost among the false realities and are unaware.

Many people believe that denial is a thing you contemplate and then execute. When in fact it happens prior to thought. 

Or more, there is no other choice available.

Until there is.

You don't know what you don't know, until you know.

 

My years of living in denial feel like a separate life - and I died in that one at 46.

 

This second life I am living is so drastically different, I am a new me.

 

The me I am today, even 10 years after the Gala is so much more at peace, in love and with joy - it is beyond what my imagination could imagine.

 

I know that when I began walking out of denial - the future was a ghost on the horizon of 'someday'.

I lived for this moment in time. I took one step at a time hoping I could change the legacy of my family.

I wasn't following a pathway that held a specific destination or place marked "healed" or "whole" or even happy.  All I knew for sure, is that I couldn't repeat what I had lived through.  I wasn't going to be my mother whose blindness and ability to live well in denial cost so many little ones their innocence.

I had to try and walk different. Live different and make choices that cost me my family of origin.

I had to.

 

I had to try. 

 

I didn't once again know what I didn't know. 

I was beginning a journey with a new self into a foreign land of truths and mental awareness. 

And, I was taking my family with me - whether they knew it or not - we'd all experience the effects of my choices.  It wasn't easy for them - or for any one of us.  Being different isn't an easy role to live out. In dysfunctional families it often means estrangement. 

 

We have to make the choices that separate us from the patterns and often that means ending relationships.  Anyone who sided with the pedophile was automatically distanced from.  There was no other way.

There isn't a spot in a relationship that will tolerate child abuse - and family love.

You simply cannot have both.

You get to pick one.

 

What I am most proud of is my ability to stay the course - losing so many along the way.

The relationship deaths were and are, real deaths. 

We ceased to exist for each other.

 

The reason abuse continues on for generations is the inability to sever ties with family.

Those who can, are becoming more and more common.  I do know others now who have left their families for the same reasons. Whereas ten years ago, I knew no one - only a few authors.

 

Looking backwards over the years, I know it was hard and I am not sure where I got my inner determination and grit to stick it out. To walk away from a large family - but I did.

 

I am hopeful as I watch the new generation of my family tree - move through life - they do now have both sides I didn't have. They have me speaking truthfully and acting out that truth, as I stay way from family functions - they are spared denial.

 

Even if, or maybe especially if the reality is harsh and brutal and abuse of children happens - I will speak of it. I will do and say and be the one to says out loud - what needs to be said.

The difference truth would have made to my childhood and the childhood of my sisters and our friends is quite shocking.  So many are now lost to themselves, their own truths and self-love, self-empowerment and a life free of denial.

 

I think the biggest or greatest loss is the loss of self.  

Denying our own truths, our hurts, our fears...and a clear mind.

A mind that can hold even the most shocking of truths.

Yet, often our denial begins with abuse and spares us the harsh reality we live in.

So, while we live in the harsh reality, our minds transpose a nicer overlay of loving kindness.

 

What I am most grateful for is being able to see - even if at first I saw too much - and that I had the ability to speak about what I saw and how it impacted my world.  How freeing it was to be able to walk hand and hand with the truth.  The more I shared and the more I wrote and posted, the more I defined me and began to build me.

 

Ten years and counting from the gala - 17 years and counting waking up from denial.  I love who I am becoming.

 

If my legacy is to give other little girls the chance to know themselves and be themselves and live their truths - I live in peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You be You; honestly.

"Do you like these kind of quilts?" I heard a woman say to her friend - as they gazed at a wall where my art hung. "No" she replied.  And the first woman says, "Me neither, another thing we have in common."

 

What they didn't know is that I was the artist, the woman who was just arranging things in the Gift Shop.

 

They continued on browsing, visiting, commenting, and just being two women out and about.

 

As they near the door where I was working, we struck up a conversation - just the usual customer chatter - and the more you visit, the more curious or questions you ask, in the back and forth.

 

The first woman finally asks me, what sorta art I do.

 

With a smile on my face and a direct look towards her I say, "The quilts on the wall over there."

 

She knows immediately - that I know what she and her friend think of my art. They had given me their honest appraisal.

 

Now, that she knows I am here in living color - the Artist to the Art - she tries to backpedal.

In the backpedalling, she offers up, she is a retired Art Teacher.

She offers up a few more things - but to me the most honest was her first response I over heard.

 

It is funny how we want to soften up our honesty.

Even in our liking or not liking of Art.

 

Art is so personal and feeing invoking - that if it doesn't move you - it doesn't move.  No worries. 

 

I am way way okay with folks not enjoying my art.

I enjoy my art.

I enjoy the process.

I enjoy folks who love it enough to spend their hard earned money on it.

I enjoy folks who want to bring it into their homes.

And, I so understand those who feel differently.

 

I love different art and art that moves something in me. I love when I feel joy and good energy when I see art that has somehow infused feelings inside of it.

 

I think that there are levels of feelings in art.

Safe ones and then those who push you to feel more.

Even if it invokes negative ones. Your art moved them.

 

The art teacher did offer up to me - she understood the hours of time and effort I had taken me to do what I do.

I didn't probe their feelings as to why my art didn't move them. I just allowed them, with respect and kindness, to feel what they felt.

 

I would prefer honesty.

Always.

 

She honestly felt something about my art.  

I respect honest feelings.

 

Just as I am not for everyone, neither is my art.

I love a world of color and contrast and depth the shallows and I love differences.

I appreciate and love honesty above all.

I love who I am and the freedom it gives me - and everyone.

You be you; honestly.

 

 

 

 

 

Presence of Art

Yesterday I was part of Art Week in Marquette, and it was about demonstrating your art - and I misunderstood and yet I overachieved.

I brought way way too much art compared to the other artists.

We were a small group.

It is a new part of Art Week.

There even was a painting class going on.

There were 4 trees and a lamppost that held the clothesline.  The committee envisioned my art in trees along the harbor to bring attention to this space. I believe I achieved that.

Folks came from the end of the harbor, saying they had to come and see what this was about.

It truly was a Pop Up art show in Lower Harbor.  Where folks happen upon art in an unexpected way.

I received so many wonderful compliments and brought giggles and joy.  A woman just kept saying, these make me so happy!!!  It felt good to hear others feel the good energy, joy and humor in my art.  The joy I have playing with fabric is clearly understood by those who were drawn to the quilts flapping in the breeze along the harbor.

Part of being an artist is to make others feel something.

I love that my ladies ignite good feelings.

And, I did demonstrate - some of what I do, by machine quilting.  It was so nice to be outside sewing. The lighting was perfect, the temperatures amazing - and only a biting fly or two near the end. 

It was fun to see the interest of young girls and them sharing with me what they have made.

One quilter was so happy that Quilting was being represented in Art Week.

So, I represented Fiber Arts - I achieved that.

Yesterday was a great reminder that being an artist isn't just about selling or the monetary value of our product. I felt the interest and curiosity others had. I was sharing a process and involving them in my art.

It wasn't about me - it was about my art.

My art has more value than its value.

I hope that a few seeds were planted, that someone felt it was possible to play with fabrics and to toss aside patterns and do some free form sewing.

My daughter came with me - and we had a very nice afternoon by the water.  It was a relaxing show for her. I so appreciate her efforts in helping me set up and take down shows, not to mention handling sales.

I am adding this last picture, even though the blog space may contort its clarity.  For some reason some pictures don't load correctly.

I love this, the lamppost, the water, the bench, the folks and my quilts.

 

All in all, it was a great day.  I came and represented quilters and artists. I brought what I do and shared a part of the creation process.  I made a few new friends and introduced my art to more people.  

Success is in the feelings.

It was a gorgeous day in the harbor and we were there for 6.5 hours. In the shade, surrounded by quilts on the line. Boats floating by, bikers biking by and folks walking and having picnics and Artists doing their art.

Perfection.

Art Shows without selling, seem to be the most organic. And, as someone commented, more intimate. We had time to chat and exchange ideas. Time to visit and share our humanity. I felt like I was making so many new friends.

 

I am glad I had this experience.

To feel and value my art on a different level. 

 

Don't get me wrong, I love when folks buy my art. I love that value too. I love when someone loves it enough to part with their hard earned money. I love being able to support my art with my art. 

And yet, it was good to take money off the table and just be with the process and presence of art.

 

 

 

 

Happy Badass Women's Day

Mother's Day could be women's day - a day where we celebrate the women in our lives that have enriched us, accepted us, honored us, empowered us, loved us, and encouraged us to be more of who we were born to be.  

A day to look back at all the wonderful kind loving women who have stepped in and gave us what we didn't get from our own mothers.  

I have had women who have shown me examples of what a loving means.

Women who displayed boundaries.

Women embraced truths

Women who loved themselves deeply.

Ladies who lived colorful expressive artful lives.

Badass women whose lives are filled with adventures.

These ladies each carry a snippet of Mom for me.

 

The ones who I could share my life trials with and who understood it wasn't the end and offered words of value in hopeless seeming situations.

Those who accepted the transformation of Me - not only accepted; but cheered me on.

And many who have re-introduced me to the outdoors.

 

I am so grateful to so many badass wise women who today - I celebrate.

I love that I have mom energy from so many different women.

I feel I am in a family of female energy that is changing legacies and defining new patterns and leaving in their wake, hope.

And love.

And self acceptance, awareness and confidence in being you.

 

It has taken women from many walks of life and ages to restore me - to shine me up and dust off the brokenness.

I feel a heartwarming melt for you all.

Mother's Day for me will be Women's Day.

Women who live their lives being true to who they are, who are wise and adventurous.  Whose lives may have sucked a time or two - who have found themselves on their knees in grief - but rose to live a life worth celebrating - those who have redefined themselves to fit into their new normal. I honor you today.

I love your examples of living life - regardless of the struggles you have had to overcome - you continue to shine forth and love, live, laugh and find joy.  

Life isn't easy and the older we get the more we realize all the hurtful sorrows do fade or they are surrounded by little moments of good life.  

Happy Women's Day - or maybe Happy Badass Women's Day!

 

 

 

You Will Always Belong

I am reading about Belonging in Brene Brown's Book "Atlas of the Heart - Mapping Meaningful Connections."

"We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging."

"True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are."

"We can never truly belong if we are betraying ourselves, our ideals or our values in the process. That is why it's a mistake to think that belong is passive and simply about joining or "going along" with others. It is not. Belonging is a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are. When we sacrifice who we are, we not only feel separate from others, but we even feel disconnected from ourselves."

"Because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater that our level of self-acceptance."

 

What I love most about Belonging, is that you can only belong if you are authentic. 

And the level in which you feel deep belonging is as deep as your own self-acceptance.

 

In her book she writes about the difference between "Belonging and Fitting in"

"Belonging is being accepted for you - Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else.

If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.

Belonging is being somewhere you want to be, and they want you. Fitting in is being somewhere where you want to be, but they don't care one way or the other.

Not belonging at school is really hard. But it is nothing compared to what it feels like when you don't belong at home. "

 

I even looked up Self- acceptance to see if I understood that correctly.

"Self-acceptance is defined as “an individual's acceptance of all of their attributes, positive or negative"

 

When I look back at my life and where I am today, I can see how I didn't belong but fit in.

And, there were certain understandings that we all accepted in order to fit in.

 

The longing to belong was the thirst of my childhood.

When perhaps it was me seeking to accept me wholly.

To even know me completely.

 

What is sad to me, is that there are so many of us out there that don't belong.

Because we will not leave ourselves behind in order to do so.

 

When you feel that your whole self is not embraced and accepted - then we tend to back away.

 

The cult-like religions like the FALC - often want you to fit in - and when you don't you feel the shunning.

I had to look up shunning.

"Persistently avoid, ignore, or reject (someone or something) through antipathy or caution."

 

They tend to avoid and ignore those who don't fit in.

 

I don't recall feeling the deep set feelings of belonging.

I myself had very little self-acceptance. I had church acceptance IF I followed their rules.

 

What I know now is any group that doesn't allow you to be you, is not one that sees you.

Even in families - or perhaps especially in families.

She writes about her children and how she wants them to feel.

"As a parent, my goal is to help my children believe in, and belong to themselves, and to know that, no matter what, they always belong at home. That we see them and love them for who they are. The pressure to fit in is real and unrelenting, but if we can create a sense of inextricable connection, it's a fierce protector as they navigate belonging. Be here.Be you. Belong.

 

I will make a quilt with this last three lines. This is my mantra.

That is the space I want to hold for everyone.

As long as you are real, authentic and being you - you will always belong.

 

 

 

The Right Direction

I looked back in my blog and the first time these Story Line Quilts were displayed was July 2012 at the Strawberry Festival Quilt show- almost 10 years ago.

There is a difference in who I was back then, compared to who I am today.

I was more vulnerable back then.

My new life was just 7 years old.

I had been processing, healing, dealing and feeling the truth of so much dysfunction - unraveling and dissecting and discovering - I was freshly exposed.

I had been blogging for 3 years - yet that didn't feel as public as hanging my Art Therapy Quilts in public.

And, it isn't the quilts.  It is the story that rides with them. Or even more, the reaction of folks seeing them.

I was afraid of the backlash.

 

Which I believe is all victims. We hold our silence in fear of what others will say and do.

 

In reading my blog from July 2012 -I wrote about my friend's responses - and how touched they were with the quilts.  Women who have walked with me, cheering me on, who have listened and read my blog - were still moved emotionally by the quilts.

There is something profound in how these quilts seemed to hold emotions, expressions and energy of Me. It is like a part of me resides in each quilt.

Even in their beauty, sorrow and sadness is felt. The challenge of my journey.

 

So, as I look ahead to the Artist Reception - and being with others as they are with my quilts - I believe I will be in a much better place.  

In the 10 years that passed - I have added so much to my life.

Imagine WIND was born that summer too.

There are so many women who I now call Friend, who came to me through WIND.

A community of beautiful, strong, courageous souls who understand that life can take a new direction, whose hearts know tragedy and pain - and yet they live life with open hearts - open to adventure and a new direction.

Within the community of WIND, I have grown both inwardly and outwardly in confidence in the adventures we have shared.

 

There is more distance between where I am today and the deep wound. And, I have more confidence in who I am and what I can do - and even more what I can survive. And, how these shows are not hurtful for me - but have given me so much in return.

 

In the past few weeks I was feeling the weight of being out front.  Of not having a good role model as a mother - to follow.  That in every curve of the road, I have to 'figure' it out. I am having to make the first steps - consciously.  There isn't a true path forward that leads to a loving, happy family. I have to be the one I want to follow - and I am winging it.  I don't know for sure what the lifetime outcome will be - until I can look in the rearview mirror or others can.

 

There are days I just want to glide.

To coast along without a care - behind a loving pattern.

 

My Storyline isn't a follow-line.

 

What I understand, and often feel tired and overwhelmed with, is that I am continually breaking trail. There is no one who will do this for me.  The women who came before me in my family are creating the old pattern where abuse is tolerated, kept silent and often supported subconsciously.

In order to be have a new pattern, I have to make it.  

My story line of quilts shows the woman growing in her self-confidence and worth.

That is the pattern I am building. I am continually growing.

A work in progress.

Still.

 

I am not sure when the gliding comes or if I would even really enjoy it.

 

What I know is that I am at peace with who I am and see the positive outcome from so many tough choices I had to make along the way.  

I like the view looking back at my storyline.

Even if I can't see the finish line - I am going in the right direction.

 

Off to Show My Soul

My quilts are rolled up and loaded into the car - their labels have been printed - they are all set to be put on display.

I was chosen by the Peter White Library Arts Committee to show my art in their Huron Mountain Club Gallery on the first floor at the Library.

They will be there until May 20th.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, and I am honored to have my Art hanging during this month to help bring awareness. I am hopeful they will bring hope and inspiration to others who also have been victims of abuse.

May is Mental Health Awareness month.  By sharing my art therapy quilts, they show others they are not alone.  

 

I believe it was 8 years ago when they were at the Dial Help Gala at Michigan Tech, and I once again feel the excitement and vulnerability.  I am thrilled to have this opportunity and at the same time - shy.

(I looked back in my blog and the first outing for these quilts was for the 2012 Strawberry Festival Quilt Show - almost a decade ago.)

 

Sharing my Art Therapy quilts is to share parts of my journey that holds much stigma.

Being able to walk without fear into the Huron Mountain Gallery and shake out each quilt and put it under the spotlight - is equal to walking in naked.

Yet I told a friend the other day, that vulnerability is courage.

It is true.

You gotta be a badass to display details others keep secret.

 

What I know for sure is that the more of us who show our imperfections, the easier it is for others to deal with theirs.  For so long the goal of life it seemed was to be perfect.  Allowing for imperfections feels more real to me.

I am not interested in perfection.

Even in my quilts and art.

I quilt by feelings.

I live by feelings.

I make mistakes and errors - both in life and art.

That is the way.

 

So, if you are in the Marquette area and are interested in Art, Art Therapy, and my journey - stop in the Peter White Library.   They are also going to have many of the books that helped me on my journey on display in the gallery or nearby.  

If you do, drop me a note.

Off to show my soul.

 

 

Once Again On Display

So, a few years back, prior to Covid, I was working with the Library Director at Peter White Public Library about having My Storyline quilts on display.  We had to postpone a few times, but now we are ready to go ahead for April.

 

She needed a few pictures of the quilts that will be on display.

I thought of my Mis-Matched Mitten Tree ones and took them out on a snowshoe this morning.

 

This is the first Mitten Tree - created in the Fall of 2010

The cloak of my truth weighed heavy on me.  Yet I was pleased I belonged somewhere; if even on the tree of misplaced or unmatched etc.

 

The second one - I didn't sign and date, so not sure when this one was made. I few years after for sure.

I feel she has more self-esteem and worth.  She is delightfully okay with being different -okay in being not okay in the normal societal standards.

As I was thinking of the Mitten Tree quilts - I recalled one more - this one was made in 2020 - I believe in the Fall.

This one is where she is part of the society or she fits in with others.  And, this is more that she has accepted herself and is willing to get close to others and make connections.

One thing about becoming estranged - is that you now wonder about the ending of things.

Not that it is a conscious thought; but you can withhold large parts of yourself from others.

Daring to open your heart and being willing to lose - takes self-esteem and courage.

I may be adding this one to the collection.

And, I am going to go through the rest of my quilts to see if there are others who need to join the My Storyline. 

 

I will be working on getting words together to go with each quilt. It will be an interesting walk back down to the earliest quilts in this line. What they would now say to me and how I will feel.

I look forward to seeing them all on display again - and in such a beautiful venue.

I am also feeling anxious. It has been awhile.

These quilts represent the truest sense of me.  They display how little my insides where and how vulnerable and lost - and yet they also hold the power and strength it has taken to being okay with being me.

One of my intentions of being retired was to explore more of my Art - or my art therapy. I feel were inseparable.  And, we both continue to grow and become.

The set-up will be in the beginning of April. 

The Artist Reception on April 14th.

The last display day will be on May 20th.

It is so appropriate that My Storyline quilts will be on display in April - May.

 

"April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, otherwise known as SAAM. During this month, people across the United States raised awareness about sexual violence, how to prevent it, and how to support those who are affected by it."

 

"May is National Mental Health Awareness Month - focuses on bringing tools, resources, and education to the general public."  

 

While both of these things are getting easier to talk about, there still is much silence.

I am hopeful that my quilts will inspire others in ways that I can't even begin to know.

What I know for sure, is it would have been so nice to see something like this when I first began to unravel out of denial.

So, ready or not I will be once again on display.

 

 

Soul at Rest

This blog has been a way for me to sort out truth from fiction - as well as what is helpful or healing for my mental wellness - and perhaps more how it feels coming from a dysfunctional cult-like religious abusive family.  

It was a tool I used to bring my tangled thoughts and messed up beliefs.

A blank space that welcomed not only my messed up head, but didn't judge my new ways of being Me. 

The blank page is open and always welcome and oh so patient as I type, delete, type and re-write.

 

Often I start out with a stressful thought.

A thought that won't leave me alone.

 

Or, I bring what I feel are good books, podcasts and other things that have helped me find my way to a life that brings me peace, love and joy.

 

I believe we are meant to live lives where our minds, body and souls are at rest.

Rest in Peace is for the living - not the dead.

 

And, I also believe heaven is here and not when we pass.

Our challenge is to find heaven - the place where our souls can rest.

 

I don't believe it is a place; but rather a deep feeling of love.

Love of self and love of humanity.

A place where differences blend in an artful array of color and shape.

The tapestry of life holds many threads and we each hold up our part of what being a human being is.

 

To me, mental wellbeing is when you can be yourself in the reality of life.

The ability to accept what is and who you are completely - creates a soul at rest.